Response To Question About Bingeing

Here is my response to an email from someone who was feeling very down about having binged.  She wanted to know if it is possible to have a sugar addiction and how to handle that urge to binge.


Now of course I am not a doctor, and I don’t want anyone with diabetes or a true issue to go undiagnosed.  So please make sure your doc says you are ok.But here is what I realized about sugar and sugar addiction.When I was a dieter, I thought I had an issue with sugar.  You know why?  Because when I actually allowed myself to eat sugar, I would eat so much of it.  I would go a month without anything sweet and then eat a bunch of candy or whatever.  And then, of course I would feel awful, be unable to properly metabolize all of that sugar and “crash.”  I truly thought that I couldn’t eat sugar.


But…when I started to develop my thin mentality, I realized that if I ate normally, with normal intake of normal food that my normal body craved, I could handle sugar just fine.  People hoard food, like sugar, after periods of deprivation.

So…discontinue the deprivation!

And you know what?   I enjoy one “serving” of sweets now way more than I ever enjoyed a whole bag of snickers.  And the fact that I know I am allowed to eat what I crave, including desserts, has had another interesting effect.  Desserts have lost their power over me.  I can enjoy a very small amount and be completely satisfied.  I know that whenever I want cake, I can have it.  So, no big deal.

And don’t underestimate this next point:

When you give up diets, you have to believe, deep in your heart, that you will NEVER diet again.  Why?  Because if you think you might go on a diet, (for instance if this “thin mentality” thing doesn’t work) then you will sabotage yourself.  You will binge because you will think-  “I don’t know if this is going to work so I might as well binge because after all I can go on a diet again.”

This mentality will poison your efforts, I promise.

And then remember this.  You are trying to make a tremendous change.  Of course it is hard, and has ups and downs.  But remember that even if you “mess up,” as long as you take that as a learning experience, you are still getting closer to a thin mentality.

Yes, the thousands of calories that you ate while binging take you a step backward in your body getting thin.  Yes, of course, I understand that and I know how frustrated and sad that makes you.

But remember that the choice you WISH was there, IS NOT THERE

You don’t have the option of going on a diet and becoming a thin, “relaxed-around-food” person.  Please remember this NEVER works.  So you either say to yourself that you will yo-yo diet for the rest of your life, or you will stick with what you know is smarter:  learn how to behave and eat as a naturally thin person.

There is no reason in the world you cannot be that person. I don’t care how fat your family is.  I don’t care if you have been fat since you were three years old.

We are not designed to be fat.  You were not.  Say to yourself,

I am a naturally thin person but I have been taught that dieting will make me thin. Dieting has made me fatter.  I am going to reconnect with the body that I was born into.  I am the only one who can do this- connect to my body.  I will eat when I am hungry.  I will not fear food, I will see food as a pleasure that I deserve.  I will not fear hunger.  I know that I can eat whenever I am hungry.  And for all of this pleasure and guilt free eating, I will promise myself one thing:  I will wait for a hunger opportunity to eat.  Delay, not deny.

So don’t beat yourself up.  This is hard!  I don’t lie like the diet industry.  But hard doesn’t mean bad.  Hard means interesting, challenging, and worthwhile.


Thanks for emailing me to let me know how you are doing.  Stay with this. It is the only permanent solution and it is worth it.