Response To Email From New Bride

It is great to hear from you and I am so glad your wedding celebration and holiday was wonderful.   Now for the weight:

The first thing is I don’t know how tall you are-  just want to make sure you aren’t going for too small a size!  But assuming you aren’t…

Keep these thoughts in your head:

1.  Remember that yes, indeed, thin people do eat less.  So get really really picky.  Refuse to put anything in your mouth that isn’t up to your standards.  You want fresh, wonderful food that you are craving.  It is really powerful to be picky.  You feel in control, and like you are worth taking care of.  Some random snack off an old shelf is NOT good enough for you and your body.

I love it when people call me picky.  I take it as a complement.  Why wouldn’t I be a picky eater?  I am picky about other stuff!   I can not be persuaded by any circumstance or person to eat something when I am not hungry for it.  And that is a good feeling that I have protected and strengthened over the years, and you can too.

2.   And then, while you are eating, listen for your body to “put on the brakes” so to speak.  Be hyper aware of that.  See how soon you can stop eating and still feel good.  In other words-  let’s say your stomach, when it is busting full, is at a “10.”  Maybe you are doing really well and stopping at 5.  But maybe, if you want to lose more weight, you could try stopping at a 4.

This does not mean to stop when you are still hungry!  I cannot emphasize that enough!!!!.

It means just taking one or two bites less.   It does not mean suffering.  If you punish your body by denying food when you are hungry, you will pay for it.  You will have a backlash that includes those horrible binges.  This is really important because one day of bingeing can “undo” a couple of weeks of naturally thin eating.  Right?  Because if you are eating as a naturally thin person, you are probably diminishing your calorie count by 200-400 calories per day.   And we all know that a you a binge of 3000 calories takes a long time to counteract…

And as you learn about yourself and your hunger and where stopping at “4” is for you, you will make mistakes and stop eating too soon.  No big deal, just take a few more bites, right?  (Keep something with you, that you generally like, so if feel over-hungry and unhappy, you can take care of yourself.)

3.  Remember that you must continue to stay in the present.  I know losing weight is a goal that looms large in your head. I understand that and agree that is way more fun to be thin!  It is worth the effort  to get to a weight you like.

But don’t stop living and enjoying TODAY.  Putting off happiness because of your weight is a diet mentality.  Over time, as a naturally thin person, you will actually become more  and more comfortable with less food and that is how you lose weight.

It is hard to say that to a person who is new to building their thin mentality because it makes them fearful that they will be hungry and unhappy.

But, as I think you know already:

Delaying eating until you are hungry, and then enjoying what you are hungry for, and stopping when the pleasure of eating has diminished because you aren’t hungry anymore is NOT suffering.  It is really, really nice and we are lucky to have a whole lot of choices and delicious things available to us.   

But it takes time!  It took time to gain, it takes time to lose.  And your body is making adjustments along the way and that takes time to get used to.

For example- let’s say you weighed 170, and then your body had to get used to 160 and then it had to get used to 150.  This is taxing on your body, obviously.  Andy change, even good change, is stressful.   Give your body a chance to catch up!

4.  So, to sum up:

  • Be as picky about eating as you are about other things you really care about in your life (shoes?? ha!)
  • Trying eating a couple bites less- that adds up.
  • Stay in the present and enjoy how far you have come

And since I am an old married lady, here is a little piece of advice your husband might want you to have.  There is nothing sexy about a woman who is hyper focused on not eating food and losing weight.  It drains energy away from more important things…

Becoming naturally thin is about taking the focus off of denial and placing it on the joy of eating what you want, in harmony with your biology, not in harmony external forces-  (the clock, for example)

Your husband loves you and wants you to be happy.  Take care of yourself by being picky about what you eat, not by being obsessed with how quickly you can lose weight.  This is a lifetime change.  He will thank you for NOT being one of those wives who orders chicken with no skin and a dry salad.  He will be happy that you know how to enjoy food.

Hope you don’t mind that advice.  I just wish someone had told me that.    Thankfully, my husband put up with my dieting and grumpiness when my diet didn’t go well for a long time, but it is way more fun now.

Because I think you are not alone, I am posting this response on the blog- in an effort to help others-  thanks for the great questions and for contacting me.  I love to hear how you are doing !

Tally ho (my effort at being British for you!!)