My Response To Email Re “Slip Ups”

Dear D,

So glad you like the book.

Yes, Of course I had slip ups.  And of course, so will you.

You are so right the key is how you handle the slip ups!

When you realize you are eating even though you are not hungry try this:

Step 1

Recognize what you are doing:

“I am eating even though I am not hungry.  I am putting food into my body that my body is not asking for.  It is enjoyable.  But not as enjoyable as eating when I am hungry, and I am trying to learn how to eat like a thin person, and I know this isn’t right.”

Step 2

Delay eating whatever food you are “struggling with” for just a few minutes

Could I just put this down for ten minutes and see how I feel?  Could I just delay eating this for those few minutes?”

Put it in the fridge, or in a baggie or whatever.  Let ten minutes go by.  See how you feel

Step 3

Give yourself permission to eat it when you are hungry.

No matter what the food– candy, muffin, hamburger, chopped salad- you MAY eat it as soon as your body says you are hungry.  And people who are overweight are ALLOWED to be hungry!

If you are still really having a hard time saying no to it even though you are not hungry have a little bit more and then try putting it down again.

While you are doing this say to yourself that every minute you DELAY eating it, is a step closer to eating when you are actually hungry.

That delaying of eating,  NOT the denial of food, is the crux of a thin mentality.  So every minute you can wait is going to build the strength of your thin mentality.  

You will get better and better at delaying gratification until you are hungry.  You will get comfortable with it, it won’t feel like punishment.  It will feel like you are finally eating as Mother Nature wanted you to eat..

Give you body a chance to show you how happy it is eating in harmony with your natural instincts to eat and NOT eat!

And yes, diets have taught us that if we start a binge, we might as well finish it.

NO!  Eating one extra brownie isn’t great.  But using that one extra brownie to eat three more is, as I wrote on Facebook recently, really really silly!

Stay in the moment.  Stay in the moment.  Stay in the moment…

There is no tomorrow where you can make up for today’s excess.  Today is all you have, right?

Don’t expect perfection from yourself.  That is a diet mentality, right?  Just move forward, and that slight side to side “wiggle” will get less and less over time.

For your child:

The best thing you can do for her is to model good behavior.  Don’t TALK about it.  DO it.  Talk is cheap.  The actions you take will impress her beyond all of the words you can say.

Yes, children need to be guided.  Guide her with questions like this, “Are you hungry for something warm and delicious like soup or something cold and crunchy like grapes, etc.”  She will get in touch with her own signals this way.

And, if she is hungry for a cookie, that is ok, as long as she is hungry for it and stops when she is not hungry anymore.  Kids need guidance on what kind of portions would probably suffice.  Don’t overload her plate with any kind of food-  “good” or “bad.”

And teach her to check in with her hunger, “Have you had enough?”     Give her a chance to hunger and express her hunger for a whole variety of foods.  Make finding new foods fun.

Most of all, though, model thin behavior for her.

Your questions were so good, that I think I am going to put this answer in the blog on my website, because I am sure you speak for many with the struggle to handle a “slip up!”

Take care and thanks for the email!

Have a great week and stay committed to this!