What kind of “dog” are you?

group of five dogs

I finally figured out what kind of dog I am.

I used to think that I could diet my way to being a greyhound-  long limbed and really thin.  Well that is silly.  I don’t have long limbs-  how was I going to change that?

I am a cocker spaniel.  Average height, average length limbs, etc.

It is important that you recognize what your body type is.  I am not promoting that you accept being overweight.  I am saying that when you understand what “thin” is for your body, you have a better chance of success.

I wonder how many people were actually a pretty nice weight, and then went on a diet, lost weight and then gained more back, ending up fatter?  And then, of course, repeated this cycle until they really became heavy?

If only they had realized that their weight was actually in a good range for them, how much heartache and unhealthy dieting would they have avoided?  Probably a lot.

If you are a short person with a larger upper body, you are not going to change that.  Your proportions are part of you, and that is just fine.  Learn to love your “breed.”  Right?  I know I never see a dog that I don’t think is cute-  how about you?

A thin mentality is about wisdom.  It is about a long term approach to a problem that has haunted many of us for decades.

Learn to eat when hungry, know what your body type is, and put an end to all the frustration.  It really is a happy way to be.  And your self esteem will improve dramatically when you aren’t constantly judging/berating yourself for the proportions you were born with.

I am not advocating that you give up your goal to be ideal weight.  But you must know what an ideal weight is for you.  And remember, don’t you love all kinds of different shaped dogs??


A Day Eating With A Thin Mentality

tuna 600

I get a lot of people asking me to “model” thin mentality eating.  Here is today.

This morning, I woke up around 7:30 and was really thirsty, and not at all hungry.  I drank an orange soda.  I put it on ice and the delicious sweet bubbles were fantastic and made me so happy.   I have orange juice too, which I realize most people would say is a “better choice.”  But I didn’t want orange juice.  I wanted bubbles and a thinner drink.  It is completely reasonable to drink that soda instead!  It isn’t going to hurt me.  I loved it.  Anyway, it doesn’t matter to me why I craved the soda, but when I think about it, I probably craved it because I ate a late, kind of salty dinner last night at a new hibachi place that just opened near me.

By 11 I wanted coffee with cream even though it was hours later than I usually drink coffee.  I am not a huge caffeine drinker, so I was fine waiting.  When I drink coffee, I pour half and half into it until it becomes a really pretty caramel color.  I enjoy it so much.  If I had to drink black coffee, I wouldn’t drink it.

Anyway, by around 12:30 I was hungry.  Again, I had eaten a late dinner, which is probably why it took me a while to work up an appetite.

I was working at home and tuna sounded good to me.  Yes, I use all of my senses when deciding what to eat:  the sound of it, the look of it, the smell of it, everything.

I keep tuna in the fridge so when I make it, it will be cold.  So I saw that nice blue package and realized that some tuna fish with mayonnaise, celery and onion would really hit the spot.

So I looked at the bread and realized I didn’t feel like eating bread with it.  And that is unusual for me.  I love sandwiches.  Now, this is a really important part of a thin mentality:

Allow for the possibility that on any given day, at any given meal, you will want something that you don’t usually like.  I usually wouldn’t like tuna on lettuce, I would usually always prefer a sandwich.

But, not today.

So, I made tuna on lettuce.  See photo.  Notice the coffee with cream and the bread that I usually like, right there, but again, I didn’t use the bread because I just didn’t want it today.  I wasn’t being “good.”  I was simply being me.

Okay, so after I had the tuna, I craved something sweet.  I put three oreos on a little plate and took to my desk.  Again, I wasn’t trying to be good or bad.  I was just being true to my voice.  After I ate two of the oreos, I realized that I was perfectly happy and that the third oreo wasn’t going to be fabulous.  Of course, it wouldn’t have been terrible or anything, it would have still been tasty.  But that is not good enough for me.  I would so much rather wait, even and hour until I wanted it again, and then really enjoy that cookie.  Or, something else, by that time!

As it turned out, I didn’t want it later, and I put it back.  (I know  to those of you with diet mentalities that this sounds strange.  When I had a huge diet mentality,  I would never have believed that I would put a cookie back.  Now, that I have a thin mentality,  though, it is normal and no big deal at all.)

By 5:30, I was really hungry.  I had made chicken stew yesterday, with potatoes and carrots and a bunch of other stuff.  It was so great- hearty and warm.  And, I craved bread with butter too.  So even though earlier I was not interested in bread, by 6 I was.  Why?  Who cares?

The day isn’t over, so I may eat again.  I don’t know, I will see how it goes.  Will I want licorice? Another bite of chicken? A bit of carrots from the stew?

Do you see the themes here?  I ate what I craved when I was hungry.   And when I wasn’t hungry anymore, I delayed eating anymore.  No judgments, no guilt.  This is how it feels to reconnect eating with hunger.

It makes eating a wonderful, angst free part of LIFE.



Sugar Isn’t Poison. Stressing Over Food Is

sugar detox

Do not let anyone tell you that sugar is poison.  Sugar is a beautiful part of life.  People fought wars over sugar.

But I used to think it was “bad” too.  I fell prey to the “good” food “bad” food diet mentality that left me food obsessed.  I wouldn’t buy anything sweet and delicious.  I would pick apart a menu so that I would get the most healthful food possible.  If I went to a party, I ate before hand so I wouldn’t be tempted to eat something “bad.”

And I thought I couldn’t handle sugar because I felt bad after I ate it.  Do you know why?  Because whenever I ate sugar I ate too much because I was “off the wagon” so to speak.  I didn’t realize that if I routinely, as part of a delicious well balanced eating, I could enjoy sugar.  I didn’t realize I could trust my body to lead me to reasonable amounts of food and to a diet that included a wide variety of foods.

Does this sound familiar?  Do you do these kinds of things?

Well, let me help you get out of that terrible cycle.

Give yourself to permission to eat whatever you crave when you are hungry.  Yes, whatever you crave.  Don’t look at calorie counts.  Don’t over analyze the ingredients.  Listen to your body for clues as to what would be most satisfying. No, you won’t be great at this at first, you have been trained out of this very normal behavior.  But be patient, the payoff for understanding this is huge.

Over time, here are just of few of the lessons you will learn:

When you eat what you crave, you will crave a wide variety of foods, not just cookies!

When you give yourself permission to eat anything you crave, including desserts, the power of those foods over you goes away.

When you eat when you are hungry and stop when hunger is quiet, you will reconnect eating with hunger and that is how you lose weight.

Eating when you aren’t hungry, no matter healthful the food, will make you gain weight.

Not eating when you ARE hungry will backfire on you and make you overeat later.

I am advocating normal eating behavior.  I am advocating the enjoyment of food, all kinds of foods, instead of the demonization of foods depending on the latest fad diet.

Your life will be less stressed, you will enjoy food more, and you will lose weight.


Getting to your ideal weight permanently

call meSo If diets make you fatter, what makes you thinner?

Getting your brain thin gets your body thin.

And a thin brain means no dieting.

Eat exactly the food you desire, when you are hungry.  When you are satiated, which is NOT the same as being full, stop eating.  Being full means you ate too much.  When you have to adjust your posture to accommodate your stomach, you are full.

So if you are wondering if you should eat those last few bites of your sandwich and five french fries, for example, then the answer is probably “No.”  Because chances are, if you are wondering, you have had enough.  If you were still hungry, you wouldn’t be wondering!

Save it, take it with you.  And, if in an hour you get hungry again, then eat it.

As your thin mentality gets stronger, you will get better and better at knowing if you need to finish your whole meal or leave some behind.

By the way, you won’t believe how great it is to leave food on your plate.   It gives you a feeling of power and control.  Because when you are on a diet, not only are you NOT eating when you want to eat, you are also always EATING everything on your plate, whether you like it or not.  Right?

So having the “right” to leave food behind is also very rewarding.  It puts YOU in charge of YOU.  And that is fantastic.

By the way, just for an example, I would guess that when I eat at a restaurant, I leave food on my plate 90% of the time.

When I was a dieter, I NEVER did. Now, I just about ALWAYS do.  It is not about being good. I am not “being good.”

I  am just staying true to myself and that feels great.

And, of course, I am very calm and happy knowing that whenever I get hungry again, even if it is in thirty minutes, I can enjoy some more food.


Thin for the Rest of Your Life or Dieter – You Choose


Some of you are really good dieters.   You have lost weight and felt so good.  But, for some reason, you always gain it back.  You think the problem is with you.  But it isn’t.  The problem is diets.

Diets wreak havoc on your brain, on your body and emotions.  Dieting turns eating into a battlefield where the casualty is your relationship with normal eating.

So you are saying, “Yea, yea, but I want to be thin!”

I get it.

But I want you to get thin once and for all.  No more up and down.  No more denial.  No more ignoring your body.

The way to start is to promise yourself that you never diet again.    I know that seems so revolutionary- so crazy.  But think about it.  Isn’t it time to try something else, instead of dieting?
The only reason you actually think diets work is because everyday you see so, so, so many ads promoting diets.

But what if you saw ads everyday that portrayed the real result of diets,  What if the “before” and “after” photos were followed the true after photo–– the one taken 6 months later, or a year later, where the person is heavier than ever!

If that is what you saw, which would represent the TRUTH, then would you still diet?


But I know you need to replace dieting with something else.   Replace it with is a “thin mentality.”  How do you do this?

You model thin behavior.

And thin behavior is built on the simple concept that your body was born with the wisdom to know what to eat and when to eat, and how much to eat.

But that has been trained out of you.

You can get it back.

Wait for hunger.  Look forward to hunger, don’t be scared of it.  You aren’t on a diet anymore, so when you get hungry, you can eat!  And then, respect your body by listening to it. Notice that when your body isn’t hungry anymore, your enjoyment of food goes down-  again, hunger is the best sauce!  So notice when you have had enough.  Could you stop now?

And since you know you will never diet again and can eat whenever you get hungry, it is so much easier to stop.  You know why?   Because if you are hungry again in ten minutes- you can eat!

It is normal to eat when you are hungry and stop when you aren’t.  So simple, yet the diet industry has trained us to believe we need some fancy combination of food groups.  Geez!

Your body is trying to give you the signals you need to eat appropriately for you to be your best weight!  Your body doesn’t “want” to be fat.  Listen to your body.

Just ask yourself:  am I hungry?  If you aren’t sure- you are NOT hungry…

Eating when you are not hungry is a bad habit.  You can break that habit.  And your body will thank you by losing weight.  And since you are respecting your body’s  hunger and satiety cues, there will be no “payback” weight gain.  Your body is beginning to trust that you will eat when hungry.  And it is so thankful.  That is the way it is supposed to be.


Dieters Battle, Thin Mentality People Live in Peace

constant battle

Don’t let the New Year bully you into a diet.  Instead, develop your thin mentality.

And the first step is to to learn what it feels like to be hungry, and to NOT be hungry.  To start feeling the difference, experiment a bit:

  • Take a bite of something when you are not hungry.  Notice how it feels.  There is no big spark of taste bud happiness, is there?  It may still be “good,” but there are no fireworks, are there?
  • Remember that feeling.
  • Then take a bite of something when you know for certain that you ARE hungry.
  • How does that compare?

This seems so simplistic, but over years, or decades, if you have ignored these sensations, you have to coax them back, so that you can use them to guide you once again.  (As Mother Nature intended, of course.)

At this point, if I eat when I am not hungry, or hungry enough, I know it immediately because the food almost feels foreign in my mouth.  LIke my body is saying, “Hey, what the heck is this?”

Honestly, I remember a time when I would have said that life would be so great if I could just eat what I wanted.  I imagined myself eating tons of food and being slim.

Okay, well here is the thing:   With a thin mentality, you do eat whatever you want.  But the catch is, that you don’t end up eating as much as you thought you would because you have tuned into what it feels like to be satiated.

That is the whole crux of it.

I know you may not believe me.  You just can’t imagine that you could eat without a huge list of good foods versus bad foods at your side.  You have been so trained by the diet industry, and society in general, that you need a lot of “help” to decide what to eat.  But, please believe that you DO NOT.

When you reconnect eating with hunger, and when you reconnect eating with your body’s cravings, all the mystery is gone.  It truly is simple and beautiful.

I would not have thought this was true either.  But, free yourself from the good food, bad food dieting tyranny that has crippled your ability to eat normally.  You can get normal eating back.  And when you eat normally, for your specific body, and body type, your weight returns to normal for you.

If you want to be super skinny, you are gong to have to eat abnormally.

But if you want to be normal/thin, rebuild your normal relationship with food.


Feeling Fat Makes Your Desperate- Don’t Lose Your Common Sense

mich bloated sac

There you are, feeling fat.   You had lost weight, but over Thanksgiving you lost control.  The pumpkin pie was fabulous.  You remember feeling full and asking for more food anyway.   And now you feel awful.  You try to estimate how long it will take you to make up for all the eating you did over the holiday.

You feel desperate.  Then you look through some magazines and see some celebrities saying how they lost weight doing this or that- (Have you seen the crazy Instagram shots of people “waist” training?)

And you let those pictures effect you.  You think maybe you just need to find the right diet and you will be okay.  You consider drinking detox tea every day like that Jenner girl.  Or you decide that you will just go on Nutrisystem one more time.

AH!  Stop letting glamorized stories of dieting influence you!  You have dieted before- you always gain the weight back.  Insanity is repeating an action and expecting a different consequence, right?  Don’t be “insane!”

Stop trying to get thin by dieting.  Instead, learn how to get thin and healthy  by developing your thin mentality.  And remember, being a dieter and having a thin mentality are completely different.

And remember these truths:

  • Eating when you are hungry is normal and will not make you fat
  • Eating when you are not hungry no matter how healthy the food is fattening
  • You probably  need less food to calm hunger than you think.
  • You fear being hungry because dieting made you ignore your hunger.
  • When you respect your hunger and non hunger,  you normalize your relationship with food

Feeling desperate because you are unhappy with your weight leaves you vulnerable to ridiculous diet plans and silly celebrities who are paid to promote different ways to “get skinny.”  Don’t fall for it.  Your body doesn’t need a “detox.”  Your body needs you to listen to your hunger and non hunger.



Don’t Conform To The Profit Driven Diet Industry


The Diet Industry teaches you that as long as food is low calorie, you can eat it.  So instead of eating a cup of potato chips, you eat a gallon of dry popcorn.  Instead of drinking a can of coke, you drink a liter of diet soda.  Instead of having a small salad with your favorite dressing, you eat a platter of plain vegetables.

Do you see how this could pervert your relationship with food?

You learn to ignore your own signals.  Full?  Shove a few more veggies down because they are “free.”  You love potato chips but you forgo them and drown yourself if popcorn?  Craving a sweet bubbly soda with real sugar but you think you are being “good” by guzzling diet soda instead.

So, you are full, yet you eat.  And when you are hungry, you don’t eat or you don’t eat what you want.

The diet industry is always promoting that the way to be thin is to behave like this!  It permeates our culture, right?

So as you embark on your thin mentality repeat the following sentences to yourself:

  1. I don’t want to be a dieter.  I want to be a healthy thin person.  (Not weird skinny!!)  So I am reconnecting eating with hunger and eating like a naturally thin person.
  2. I don’t want to fear food.   As long as I connect eating with true hunger, I have nothing to worry about.
  3. I do not want to obsess about my weight.  I don’t weigh myself  because the only thing that matters is my hunger level.  And I know that as I reconnect eating with hunger, I will get to my ideal weight range.

If you have a deeply ingrained diet mentality, as I did- repeat these to yourself everyday until your thin mentality is second nature– It took me a year!  (But it was a good year)








Protect Your Thin Mentality- Recognize These Diet Mentality Behaviors- And Then Don’t Do ’em!!

calorie count

Here are a five diet mentality behaviors that you need to be able to recognize!

If you find yourself doing these, don’t be hard on yourself, just take a deep breath, recognize the behavior and steer yourself away from it.

Remember that you are taking on a very big task.  You are deviating from the hugely accepted societal norm that dieting is the way to thinness.  But please remember that this isn’t true.  Dieting, at best, makes you a “thin” dieter.  Not a thin, healthy person with a relaxed attitude toward food.

And  more often dieting just makes you progressively more and more overweight.  (Lose 10, gain 12.  lose 12 gain 15, lose 15 gain 18.- you get the picture…)

So as you make your transition- watch out for these behaviors that are remnants from your diet mentality.

  1. -Taking a peak at the calories in what you are eating to decide whether or not you “should” have some more…
  2. -Weighing yourself so you can see if you can see if you have been “good.”
  3. -Looking at your watch to see when you ate last so you can judge whether or not you “should be” hungry.
  4. -You avoid eating a cookie even though that is what you are craving because you are worried about being judged by others.
  5. -You exercise a bit longer because you feel like you ate too much

Do you see how all of these take you away from the “golden” question of healthy thin mentality eating?

Am I Hungry?

ALSO- PLEASE CONSIDER JOINING OUR COMMUNITY  By doing so, you will get weekly emails from me called “thin mails” and you can easily participate in forums.  My dream is to build a community of people who reject dieting and embrace a healthy happy thin mentality.  Think how mad the diet industry would be!!!  And think how happy all of us would be if we could live our lives with the “weighty” issues of dieting and all the associated angst.  

And, if you have had success, please know how much your encouragement will help others.  🙂

Let’s reach out to each other.  The more of us who “get it” the more power we will have.


All This Angst…Unnecessary

worryDo you ever think about how much time and energy you spend on worrying about your weight, calories, eating.

I hate to say that I regret part of my life, but I can tell you I wish that I could talk to my younger self and teach myself what I am trying to communicate to you.

All that wasted time and energy on losing, gaining, losing, gaining.  Such a pity.

I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to find daily support for your thin mentality. You need to do this until you feel strong enough to defend your thin mentality against all of the dieting messages you hear from the media, and, honestly, from your friends and family.

So, until you are strong, please check in with this blog, or Facebook, or leaf through a few pages of my book everyday.   Or, if you find this thin mentality message elsewhere, that is great.

I am so happy that the Facebook page is starting to get some good conversations and comments going because I think it is so important that you see others making progress, and having problems, and solving them!

For instance, if you over eat one day, remember that panicking about that is a diet mentality.  Use that “over eating” as a way to remind yourself how it feels to be overfull.  It ISN’T fun, is it?

Eating when hungry is fun.  Yes, eating is fun!  Over eating is not.  (Dieters think it would be fun to stuff their faces with chocolate- but that is because they are stuck in a “good food” vs  “bad food” world…  A few bites of chocolate when you crave it is wonderful.  Bingeing on it is NOT).

But don’t berate yourself after a binge.  That is a diet mentality too.  Relax, learn, improve.  🙂

Share your thoughts and concerns, if you like, here (in the comments) or on Facebook.  It is also good because it helps me to figure out what I should talk about in this blog!

I just noticed a slight hunger pang.  (Not pain, pang- it is NOT painful to be slightly hungry)  So now I am just saying to myself, oh good, I will have a little something wonderful before I go to bed.  (Eating before bed, a big dieters no no-  But not for me anymore!)  I am not going to rush to eat right away.  I want to make sure my body wants something.  I will wait for stage 2 hunger and then I will enjoy.