Kevin James- So funny, so sad

kevin-james-at-event-of-zookeeperI saw Kevin James (comedian from King of Queens TV show) on TV last night.  He was doing a celebrity mini tennis match at the US Open in NYC on ESPN 2.

He is huge, again.

I remember seeing him on his show after he lost weight.  They based a whole episode on it.  I had a sinking feeling as I watched.  I knew that as happy as he was, even when he was really just “acting” in the show, that he was doomed.

He lost it really quickly on a low carb diet.

He gained it back, of course.  And as fabulous as he felt when he trimmed down, you know he feels like a loser gaining it all back- and more.

It is so hard  You wear your weight gain like a sign that says, “Hey, look at me, I lost weight but am such a pig I gained it all back and even more!”

You feel weak, embarrassed and angry at yourself.  You recount all the suffering it took to get thin, and then you marvel at how fast you gained it back.


Please folks, realize that you are NOT weak.  It is human nature, fantastic strong human nature, to hoard food after deprivation.  Once, when we all lived in caves, it kept you ALIVE.

Don’t be mad at your body.  It is trying to keep YOU alive.

Be mad at yourself for falling prey to the diet industry.  And, of course, be mad at the diet industry.

What else, with such an incredibly high failure rate would thrive?   (If you judge diet success by long term weight loss, the numbers are tiny- and those very few people who do keep it off diet rigidly for the rest of their lives.  NO thank you!)

You are in a wedding in three months.  You are going to lose three dress sizes.  And bingo you will be thin for that day.  And then, I promise you, you will gain it back.  It is only a matter of time.

And isn’t it actually worse to get thin for the day and then get fat again?

(I am NOT saying to stay fat!!!!)

Oh really,,,, you think you will keep it off this time?   OK- keep bashing your head against the wall.  Sorry, to mean to be harsh, but honestly, I want to help you realize that you are headed down a miserable path if you decide to diet again.

You are fat because you are seeking to solve your weight issue with a bandaid instead of cutting off the “bleeding” at the source.

You have put your body on a roller coaster of  restriction and then bingeing.  And, until you get off that roller coaster, until you stop the bleeding at the source, you will continue to diet, lose, and gain.

Earn your body’s trust again.


Eat when you are hungry.  Oh boy, I say that a lot.  It is so simple, yet so perfect.

And building your body’s trust (that you won’t starve it) involves not only eating when you are hungry, it is NOT eating when your are NOT hungry.

I could help Kevin.  It would take time, but his body can recover from what he has done to it.  He may not be destined to have wash board abs.  But, he is a great athlete stuck in a fat body that, I am sure, makes him sad…

And you aren’t meant to be overweight either.  You were born to enjoy food that you love when you are hungry.  Does that sound like a fantasy world?

Well, the nutrition/diet industry spends a lot of money every year making you think that your “fantasy” of a thin body can be achieved through their gimmicks.

Develop your thin mentality, and buck your diet mentality.

Diet rules make you eat what you don’t want when you aren’t hungry and avoid what you do want when you are hungry.

Do you see how backwards that is?

We are meant to eat all kinds of delicious foods, including steak, candy, and greens.  Yes you will want greens too.  Yes, you will crave water instead of coke.  Yes you will eat less some days and more on others.

You will be happier and love your life more when have a strong thin mentality instead of a diet mentality.

You will go to parties and eat wonderful foods without feeling worried or bingeing.  You will skip breakfast if you aren’t hungry.  You will eat lunch at 10:30 if you feel like it.  You will eat dessert first if that is what you want.  You will eat a plate of steak and nothing else if that is what you hunger for.  You will eat potato chips and cookies.  I do!!  But not unless I am hungry FOR THEM!

As long as you listen to your body, and eat when only in response to being hungry, you will be FINE.

And YES, you will get to your ideal body weight.  It is just a matter of time, and trust.

Remember, the choice you think is there is NOT there:  You will NOT go on a diet, and keep it off.  If that was possible, you would have already done it and not be reading this right now.


Jessica Simpson New Ad- “not hungry…”

jessica simpsomJessica Simpson’s new ad for Weight Watchers has her saying, “I’m not hungry.”

You’ve been there…

You go on a diet and three days into it (give or take a day or two) you aren’t hungry even though you are eating way less than you used to,

Ok, folks, this is your fantastic body adapting to your self-imposed famine.  Your body is “on your side!”  So, it is not sending you hunger signals anymore.  It is coping with the low calories and is assuming that since you haven’t fed yourself, that you can’t.

In ancient times, this would have helped you survive.  You would still have been able to hunt or gather or whatever.

But, you do NOT want to do this to yourself.  You want your hunger to be alive and strong so that your body is behaving normally and burning calories normally, not lowering your metabolism to accommodate your “famine.”

Because you know what happens the second you go off your diet and eat normally. You gain weight rapidly.  Eating 2000 calories a day, for example, used to be fine for you.  You didn’t lose, and you didn’t gain.  But after your diet of 1000 calories a day, you eat 2000 and gain two pounds in a day.

Well, well, well.  Isn’t that interesting?

And, all of the sudden you are hungry again.  Of course you are!  Your body is so psyched that you have food available that it is going to push you to eat.  And how does your body do that?  With hunger, of course.

Hunger is how your body talks to you.  Don’t mess with it, or it will mess with you.

You start eating more in one meal than you ate in an entire day when you were dieting.

I know you know what I am talking about.

So, if you “lose” your hunger, beware.  Value your hunger.  Keep your hunger alive by eating when you are hungry and putting the fork down when you are not.  That is how to get your body healthy and THIN.  It is slower than dieting.  Yes.

So what.  Do you want quick and stupid or smart and permanent?  (Is that too harsh??)

Jessica saying that she is not hungry is sad to me.  It means that she has cut calories to a degree that her body has given up sending her hunger signals.

She will lose weight.  She will gain it back.

And think how amazing that is.  She is being paid millions of dollars.  She has all the resources in the world available to her.  And yet she will not win the war she is waging on her body.  Her body is strong and she should be glad.

Then she should stop dieting and reconnect with her body.  She was not born to be fat. She got fat after she over-dieted.  (Remember how thin she got for Daisy Dukes?)

Yet she will gain it back.  I don’t wish that on her, of course.  It is just that the best predictor of the future, is the past.


Bethenny Frankl – too many food rules

bethenny frankel book 020512

I just read Bethenny’s book.

As most people who have written about how to eat, she has too many food rules, and too much judgment in her food choices.

This is important:  I am not saying to ignore nutrition completely.

I am saying that if you want white bread with butter, not olive oil on whole grain, then eat it.  It isn’t going to ruin your day or make you fat.   Stop obsessing about the “perfect” food choice.  Just eat it  (when you are truly hungry for it) and move on!

Why would you crave butter on white bread instead of olive oil on whole grain?  I don’t know.  I don’t care, either. I just know that sometimes I crave it and even though I also love olive oil on whole  grain baguette, sometimes I want bread and butter.

My body is complicated and is responding to a whole bunch of variables:  how much I did that day, if I am dehydrated, if I was out late, if I slept a lot and am rested, etc., etc.  It is much better for me to let my body guide me than to try to use my brain to guess what I may need.

For instance, sometimes I eat cilantro and I can just taste that my whole body is celebrating.  I just think there is something in that that I really need.  I am not going to waste a bunch of time or energy figuring that out.  I trust myself.  And when I crave it, I eat it and it is great.

You may hate cilantro-  I know a lot of people do.  You are different than me.  That is really a wonderful thing.  Listen to what your own body is telling you.

Food rules like the ones that Bethenny uses keep you obsessed and disconnected from the greatest wisdom you hold- your instinct of what to eat and when.  I saw her photo recently and she is “un-naturally thin.”  I hold that as evidence that she is obsessed.

I don’t mean to be critical, but I am just calling it like I see it.  And, in case you are saying, well I want to be that thin, here is my answer.   Eating with a thin mentality will get you thin.  It will not get you weirdly thin.  It will not get you super model stick leg thin.  It will get you beautifully thin.

If you want to be that thin, you are going to have to fight your body all the way.  And if you make a million dollars a year on being a weirdly thin model, it may be worth it to you.?

But to be nicely thin, and healthy, a thin mentality works just fine.  And you will be happy and enjoy food-  a fabulous pleasure.

I just felt my first hunger pang of the day.  And my only thought is, “Well sometime soon I will eat something wonderful.”  And then I have some fun thinking of what that might be,  And when I get to stage two hunger-  probably in about an hour, or hour and a half,  I will eat.  And I will stop when it isn’t wonderful anymore.


Dancing around the word diet

marie oThe recent commercials for Nutrisystem feature Marie Osmond saying that she is on Nutrisystem and she isn’t dieting.  Jennifer Hudson is doing the same thing on Weight Watchers.

Folks, you can avoid the “D” word all you want.  When you are eating prescribed food without respect to your body’s voice, you are dieting.  And dieting is a short term fix.

Now, if some company paid you millions of dollars to you to stay on their diet, maybe the trade off would be worth it!   Maybe having a stressful relationship with food, not eating what you love, unless you check in your rule book first to see if you’ve “earned” a piece of chocolate,  and constantly jumping on the scale to see “where you are” would be okay because your bank account would be fat??  Maybe losing and gaining would be acceptable?

(Remember all the endorsers who have rapidly gained back weight???)
But, if you are not a celebrity paid endorser, think really hard about what WW and Nutrisystem ask you to do.  They ask you to disregard your body and follow their rules.

And they ask you to pay for their rules.  And they ask you to pay for their special foods.  And the reward is that you lose weight short term, and gain it back, plus more.

See the recent blog on the real story about Weight Watchers (Dated Feb 2)

So let them dance around in their tight pants. They are dancing around the word Diet and they are making big money off of these ads.  And they are promoting a diet mentality.  And you are too smart for that.

You are seeking long term thinness.  You are seeking to enjoy one of the greatest pleasures on earth without guilt.  You are seeking to a life that doesn’t include daily frustration and angst over food choices and fear of the food you love.

You are building your thin mentality.   One question:  Are you hungry?  Nothing else matters.


With Heavy Adults As Role Models, What Can We Expect?

photoDid you see “Weight of the Nation” on HBO?

Several things struck me.

First, many of the nurses, doctors, and parents who were trying to help the overweight children were also overweight.  So children have overweight adults “teaching” them how to be a healthy weight?  I assure you, that irony is not lost on the children…

Most likely, these adults have been riding the diet train themselves, and are convinced that the way to be thin is through food restrictions and a “good food” versus “bad food” mentality.    But haven’t we seen an absolute failure of diets to produce permanent, healthful weight loss?

Yet these adults are imparting this “wisdom

We need to teach all of those obese children in that Louisiana town that there is extreme joy and pleasure in eating when hungry.  And that betraying your body by eating when you are not hungry is not joyful.  It is a habit.  And bad habits can be broken.  And good habits can take hold.

But if the adults around them have them convinced that eating in response to diet rules will help them get back into normal size kids clothes, then they truly are doomed.

Teach them to connect with their own bodies and discover what they truly like.  Help them learn to listen to hunger, and how little food it takes to quiet their hunger.  And teach them how much better it is to eat when hungry rather than to eat for entertainment, or as I like to call it, Eatertainment.

Teaching our kids to eat for reasons other that physical hunger has caused obesity.  Teaching them to eat for physical hunger only is the way out.


Dr. Oz Is At It Again


Today’s show is on (another)  latest and greatest fat buster.  Really, again?

He says he doesn’t sell this product so his endorsement of it is “honest.”

Well what does he sell?

He sells his show.  And his show has to have “revolutionary” new foods and magic fat busters to keep you interested.   So he hypes these products to keep you tuned in.  He sells and sells and sells.

Everyday is an amazing breakthrough.   You “can’t miss” this show.  Today he hyped “November as the Month to Remember” with shows all month on this new craving killer, and this new belly buster, and this healthy this, and this healthy that.

We waste so much of our lives, money, and energy on this.  There is NO magic bullet.

Yet Dr. Oz makes you think that there is.  You just need to follow his advice on what and when to eat and you will be saved.

People!  If we took every product that he says you should take everyday (today it is a shot glass of pine nuts)  we would be eating all day long!

I am watching this show as I write this.  A heavy woman is looking at him with adoring eyes. “Surely the lean doctor can save me from my fatness.”


Wake up and see him for what he is.  He is a celebrity who is making money off the optimism of dieters who believe that if they just find the magic food combination, they will shrink.

Listen to me!!


Doesn’t that make you wonder?

Everything on his show is “revolutionary!”

Now he is going to talk about some magic tea in this next segment.  Ugh.

Oh my, and now he says he is going to tell you how to lose three pounds in three days.  Unless you are enormous, that is not possible!  That weight will be mostly water and you will gain that back anyway.

I have to turn it off.

This kind of propaganda is what made you think you need to look elsewhere to know what and when and how much to eat.  But look at his audience full of followers.  They are mostly heavy, right?  So his leadership is not working.

Turn off his show.  Don’t be influenced by his props and rapid fire medical talk.

There is no magic combo.

Your good ole body is right there, with you, hoping against hope that you will listen to it, instead of all the advertisements you see on TV.  And Dr. Oz is one long advertisement for himself.


More on Katie Couric and her Eating Disorder

11th Annual Tribeca Film Festival - Vanity Fair Party - ArrivalsInteresting.

On her new show, Katie talked about having bulimia when she was in college. The pressure to be thin made her adopt a diet mentality that created such a good food – bad food mentality that if she ate one thing- even a stick of regular gum, she freaked out!
That is such a sad story!  Can you imagine all the time and energy she lost doing that?
Even if you don’t have a disorder like that, if you are overly obsessed with food and eating, you are suffering too.
Mother nature didn’t create us to struggle so much with simply eating!  We have turned a wonderful pleasure- eating- into an exercise in complete frustration!
We have been told that eating is complicated and that you must balance all the calories and protein and fat and vitamins!!
Folks, stop it!
There is no such thing as perfect eating.  Your body will guide you to what you need.  Your body is smart.
Here is an example of a smart body.   I got food poisoning the other day- OMG was that awful.  Did my brain know that what I ate was rotten?
No, my smart body did.  It said –  no way am I keeping this rotten food in here and I exploded-!
Ha Ha- you know – threw up many many times.
I count on my body to know when I am poisoned- and to make me sick.  I trust my body to tell me when I am hungry and when I am full.  I trust my body to tell me when I need protein, when I need greens and when I need cake.  And  yes, sometimes I need cake.
I know you think that won’t happen for you.  I know you think you will only crave cake.  Or ice cream or whatever.  That is not true.  You have been taught to mistrust your beautiful body.  And maybe your parents ate all the time, never in response to true hunger, so you never learned to listen.
I say bla bla bla to all of that.  Don’t let past defeat ensure future defeat.  It is NEVER too late to learn to listen to your instincts.  They are still within you, and are just waiting for you to respect them.
To help you, I wrote a book too.  Again, please understand that I am not all about selling a book to you.   But I want you to know that it is available.
I wish someone, when I was younger had helped me stop dieting and wasting my life.  I want to help you.

Jennifer Livingston Story

jenniferlivingstoncbs-screenDid you see the story of the newscaster who fought back when a man emailed her saying that she should lose weight because she was a bad role model?

Two reactions:  First, of course it was really lame for that guy to assume that her weight was any of his business, or that he was, in any way, qualified to judge whether or not she was a good role model.

Second reaction:  Even though I fully support Jennifer in her job at whatever weight she wants to be, I also can’t help thinking that if she could, she would choose to have a thinner body.

I don’t know her.  But, I do know many, many people like her.  These are people who have tried to get thin, through dieting, and have ended up being fatter than ever as a result.  They started at 20 pounds over weight, lost it, then gained back 25.  Then they lost that and gained back 30.  Etc Etc Etc.

No, I am not sure this is what happened to her, but I would bet that it is.

And what happens to many of these people is that they just give up and decide that they are just going to live their lives at the weight they are.

I actually think this is smarter than continuing to diet and lose and diet and gain.  It is more healthful to stay heavy than to yo yo.

But, she may not realize that she does have another choice.  She could learn to trust herself and to reject the culturally supported truism that diets are the way to thinness.

She could re-connect with her biology and realize that she does not have to  punish herself to get thin.  She has to trust herself and respect the instincts she was born with, but that have been trained out of her.

Diets have made her sad, hungry, feel imprisoned, and consistently disappointed  because she never kept any weight off.

But, Jennifer, if you want to be thin, try a whole new way of thinking.  Try eating what you crave when you are hungry.  Instead of eating dry tuna on lettuce and fruit for lunch, order what you love and enjoy it until you are no longer hungry.  No, it will not take long!  Maybe you will only eat half of it-

But you know what is so great?  Think of it this way:  You can eat the whole thing.  Just not all at once…

What a great saying, right?  You can eat the whole cake.  Just not all at once.  You can eat the whole fried fish platter.  Just not all at once.  You can eat the whole rueben.  Just not all at once  You can eat the whole bowl of fruit.  Just not all at once.  You can eat the whole bowl of broccoli.  Just not all at once.

No matter what the food, it is NOT okay to overload your stomach.

(But once you free yourself to eat what you want, you will find that your choices change and eating cake at every meal just isn’t as delightful as you thought it would be..)

So, relax.  There is no “denial” in thin mentality living.  There is “delaying.”  Delay eating until you are truly hungry.  Then enjoy.  And then, when the hunger is gone, delay eating more until you are hungry again.

If anyone knows Jennifer- send her this post 😉 .  I wish her all the best, and hope that someday she discovers that she, too, was born with a thin mentality, but was not taught to respect her own instincts and biology.


Don’t be Fooled by Jennifer Hudson Ad


I just saw Jennifer Hudson’s ad on TV for Weight Watchers.  I have already seen this commercial so many times that I can sing along with it.  The words talk about being free.  So ironic.

Going on a Weight Watchers diet isn’t glamorous, like Jennifer in her beautiful dress, or fun, despite all the smiling faces.  It is the opposite of freedom.  It is food jail.  Weight Watchers highlights the short term success of its celebrity spokespeople so that you will ignore the failure of diets all around you.  Look at your own life.  Don’t be fooled by the people in the frame of your TV.

If diets worked long term, we would all be scrawny.

If you want to lose weight and you don’t care that you will gain it back, go on a diet.
Do you think I am assuming too much?

How many diets have you been on.  Have you ever kept it off.  If you did, you wouldn’t be considering another diet.

Do you believe that Weight Watchers or any diet program is going to put as much effort into your maintaing your weight loss as is does in helping you lose it?  Look at the commercials.  The amount of time they spend mentioning “maintenance” is much smaller than the time spent talking about weight loss.

There isn’t money in maintenance!  Come on guys, get real!

The money is in helping people lose weight, and getting them back a couple of years later when they think it is their weakness that they gained all the weight back and they need professional help to lose this weight AGAIN.


As you are making your transition to a thin mentality you need to constantly remind yourself that you are doing the right thing.  Read parts of my book that resonate for you.  Start a discussion forum and talk to fellow “thin mentality” converts.  Email me with questions or issues you run into.  I am here to help you stay strong in your very smart, very logical, very enlightened decision to regain your thin self by changing your perspective on food and its role in your life.

Hint:  it is a wonderful pleasure that you deserve to enjoy in quantities appropriate for your body.


The Pizza Machine Is Not Going to Hurt You

martin bashir

Or for goodness sake…

Martin Bashir (MSNBC commentator) going off about how “dangerous” the new fresh pizza machines are.

A smart (?) man like him falling victim to the diet industry.  I can relate, of course, because I used to be that person- the righteous dieter, who knew every calorie in every food and how to combine foods for the best nutrition, fiber, bla bla bla

Well, I got wise, and I hope you are on your way.

Martin is not.

He was outraged that a company would seek to supply offices with freshly made pizza machines.  OMG!!!

There is nothing wrong with this pizza.  It is probably very similar to other frozen pizza that we all eat.  He just was so incensed, he was really quite vitriolic, about how this temptation would be such a cross for us to bare.

Here is the thing:

If you live you life as a dieter, you will, indeed, be afraid of food.  You will work your butt off at the gym, go to the grocery store and buy perfect meals.  You will forgo food that you love and you will occasionally meet your goal weight and then bounce back up, or you will never meet your goal weight.

But you will always, always, always be afraid of gaining weight.  You will avoid a certain route so that you don’t have to walk by your favorite cookie at the bakery.  You will skip a party because the food will be fantastic.  And you will binge…

Is that how you want to live?  And has it made you comfortably thin?

Learn how to behave as a thin person, with a thin mentality if you want to be thin AND enjoy food (and your life, by the way.)

Martin is afraid of pizza because he probably is afraid he won’t resist the temptation of the smell of pizza wafting down the halls.

But, this is how I, a thin mentality person, would handle this.

I would be very excited that my office was introducing a new food for us to enjoy.  When it was delivered, if I was hungry, I would try it.  I would eat until I wasn’t hungry, and then I would stop. I would discover whether or not I liked it and then I would MOVE ON with my day.

I would not fear the machine, I would not love the machine.  I would just be happy that if I was hungry for pizza on a given day, that I would be able to enjoy it.  That is it.


Remember that more on this is available in a book that I wrote–  I don’t want to be “sales-y” but I did write it to try to help you get your thin mentality cookin’!.