Before and After Pictures are often Faked or Stolen

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Images influence us.

And when dieters see before and after pictures, they are desperate to believe them.

So, logic and common sense are dismissed.  The image of a newly thin woman or man is so powerful, that it overshadows memories of losing weight only to gain it back again.  Just like the “orange girls” I use on my Facebook Page, the true after pics are of a person who has gained back the weight they lost, and more.

But did you know that many of the ads that you see steel “before and after” pictures from Facebook?  That is right, people lose weight and post their pictures, only to have some slimy diet company steal those pictures (easy to do) and add their own copy to those photos.

My message here is to BEWARE.

There is no quick fix.  There is no fast way to shed a bunch of weight on a fast diet and the keep that weight off.

But don’t despair.  When you relearn to connect eating with hunger, you won’t care.  You will understand that you have plenty of opportunities to eat every day.  And as long as you can nourish yourself when you are hungry, you are happy, your body calms down and begins to trust you, and you return to your ideal weight range.

This is a major perspective shift, I know.  It doesn’t demonize certain foods, it doesn’t require  a schedule, it doesn’t demand you drink water instead of eating when you are hungry.


Simply eat enough to quiet hunger, and get on with your day.  Over time, this easily becomes second nature, and it is a habit that you can sustain for the rest of your life because it work WITH your biology.  Right?  And fighting you biology is a fight you don’t want to enter.  Work WITH your hunger.  Work WITH your body.

And ignore all the foolish ads for quick fixes you see-  Oh yes, including that new one- GOLO.  It is just a new gimmick.

And to really get disgusted, read this about stealing Facebook images to use in before and after pics




Is Your Eating on Auto Pilot?

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If you wake up every morning, and go the your coffee maker and then go to your fridge and eat the same breakfast everyday, you may be engaging in auto-pilot eating.   And being on auto-pilot with respect to eating is not progress toward a healthy Thin Mentality.

Every single morning when and if  you eat, it should be in response to your particular hunger and cravings on that particular morning.  Comments like, “I always have toast and an egg for breakfast,” indicate a lack of respect for your body’s voice.

Unless your days are exactly the same in energy expenditure, it is highly unlikely that your body will crave the exact same breakfast or any food for that matter, day after day, week after week, month after month.  So, as you build your healthy Thin Mentality, throw away food routines.  Be open to the possibility that your body will ask for different food today than yesterday.  Be open that you need more, or less! food today than yesterday.

Be open to the possibility that less food will satisfy you than you thought…

In other words, reconnect with your voice many, many times every day to guide your eating choices.  Put away all of your assumptions about what you need. Silence the self talk that ignores your body’s cravings.  Instead of saying, “I should eat some low fat yogurt and granola,” ask yourself, “What is my body asking me to nourish it with?”

And nourish doesn’t mean you are looking for “perfect” food.  It means you are responding to the nutritional needs your body expresses to you through cravings.

And, as I sit here writing this, I am sipping on an ice cold coke.  I usually have coffee, but I was craving a coke.  No, not a perfect food.  But I am not perfect either.  I am just a person who trusts myself and knows that a coke is not poison.  And I also know that my body cravings come from somewhere and fighting them is futile.  So I drink a coke and move on.

So, instead of judging  your food choices too harshly, stay focused on making sure those choices are “fresh” and not from a stale “auto-pilot”system.  You will arrive at nourishing your body in a healthful way.  And you too will realize that when your body craves an “imperfect” food, it is No Big Deal.

The next time you eat will be different.



How to Be Smart About This


It may seem confusing because I am telling you to “turn off ” your brain and listen to your body. But let me emphasize that your brain is important in other ways, as you develop your thin mentality.

Here is how:

Don’t use your brain to decide if you are hungry.   Use your brain to notice what kinds of eating satisfies you the best.

For example, use your brain to notice that if you eat more slowly, you are better at noticing when your hunger is gone.  This may sound similar to “diet advice.”

But the perspective is different.

I am simply telling you that while you are learning about your hunger, you may need some training wheels.  If you eat quickly, you may not notice your hunger has been answered and it is time to stop.  But!!  Once you establish your thin mentality, eat according to your natural rhythms.

I eat really fast.  So what?  Most “nutritionists” would say eating quickly is bad for me.  I say, “whatever!”

Since I have lived with my thin mentality for 16 years, after dieting for DECADES, I am really in tune with my body and I can eat fast, which I simply enjoy, and know when I have had enough.

But, for you novices, it may help to slow down at first, until you familiarize yourself with how much food you need to answer hunger.  Notice that I never say, “Until you are full.”  Because… being “full” is not the goal.  Being “full” is now a feeling that I avoid because it feels awful.

Feeling good is when I am hunger neutral.  I am a zero on the hunger scale.  But I am also a zero on the “full” scale.

It is a very happy place to be.


That Thin Feeling…


That feeling you get when you drop a few pounds quickly makes you happy, I know.  You check yourself out in the mirror, notice that your pants are loose and your stomach feels smaller.

How do you feel when you gain it back?  How miserable are you when you reach into your closet and put those pants on and they are now really tight, or you can’t even pull them up?

That is the ying and yang of dieting.

A thin mentality person never gets that empty, newly thin feeling.  Your progress toward your ideal body weight comes at a pace that is not going to freak your body out.  It IS slower than dieting, for absolute sure.  No doubt.

But, like the turtle who wins the race against the rabbit, the thin mentality person “wins.”  Weight loss is permanent, in harmony with your biology.  You work WITH your body.  You don’t fight your instincts anymore.

I have to reiterate, as I do a lot, that working with your biology includes eating when you are hungry and NOT eating when NOT hungry.  Yes, of course that is important.

Eating when you were NOT HUNGRY is what made you fatter than you want to be in the first place!  You did not get heavy eating when you were hungry.

So, if you miss that “Wow, I just dropped 5 pounds this week high” please remind yourself that you won’t miss the “Wow, I gained 7 pounds this week low.”


People!  Slow and steady wins the race.  Happy, thin, relaxed, smart.  That is you as a thin mentality person.  Join me!!


Dieting Disappointments Make You Think Hatefully about Yourself.


  • If  I can’t even control my weight, what does that say about me?
  • I don’t deserve a new bathing suit because I did not lose the weight I promised myself that I would.
  • Secretly, I think thin people are smarter, and more disciplined than me..
  • I am not going to eat any food I like so I won’t be tempted and I won’t gain weight back.
  • Every part of my body has too much fat on it, and since I gained weight back, it is really squishy.
  • If I don’t go on vacation with my family, I won’t have to get in a bathing suit, and I can eat diet food all week alone at home instead.

Dieting is restriction, payback, rejecting your body,  and rejecting your life.

You avoid parties, food, and friends so you can “stay” on your diet.  Dieting makes you sad and more likely to feel lonely and isolated.  For example, you didn’t lose weight this am, which makes you sad, so you aren’t going out for coffee because you don’t want to be tempted by the bakery, so you stay home and isolate yourself, and then you go to bed, early, to avoid the ice cream in the fridge.

Do you see how dieting is about living your life from a point of weakness and negativity. It is from disconnecting from yourself and letting someone else, some expert, take the reigns and tell you what to eat, when to eat.

This simply leaves you weak, sad and feeling defeated.

(Yes the first diet experience is different than this, because you lose weight the first time you diet.  And it isn’t so bad.  But no one ever diets once.  And what does that tell us??)

Your healthy Thin Mentality is about Love.  Corny, I know, but true.  It is

  • Loving food
  • Loving your body’s voice
  • Loving lifes

Your healthy Thin Mentality is about nurturing,  Nuturing your love for food, your body, your life.

It is about waking up in the morning and not succumbing to a scale.  It is about choosing when and what to eat based on what your body is asking you to provide.

It is about your strength, your rejection of advertisements designed to cripple your self-trust, and your commitment to respecting your body.

When you nuture love– love of yourself, your body and your wisdom,–you thrive. And, you realize that eating without hunger isn’t fun.  It isn’t loving.

It is disrespectful of your body.

Think, “How can I best nurture myself?  What food, beverage, activity, relaxation would please my body.

Nurture, not punish.  Love, not hate.


How do You Answer These Questions?

call-meWhen I was a dieter, I answered these questions completely differently than I do now, with a healthy Thin Mentality.

I. If there is some food left on my plate, I

  1. Really struggle to leave it behind
  2. Don’t even notice if I am not hungry anymore
  3. Clear the plate so I am not tempted anymore

II.  When I am about to go to bed and am hungry

  1. Have a little snack so I feel good and nourished before bed.
  2. Am happy because maybe I will weigh less in the morning
  3. Have a bowl of ice cream because I was bad today anyway

III. When I know I have to get into a bathing suit in a week I

  1. Eat only protein and vegetables so I lose weight fast.
  2. Make sure I have a bathing suit that I like
  3. Figure out a way to get out of going

IV.  When I am sick and know I am dehydrated I

  1. Drink water
  2. Drink ginger ale because I usually don’t let myself have that, but since I don’t feel well I let myself
  3. Weigh myself to see if I weigh less.

V.  When I go to a burrito bar,

  1. Get a salad because the burrito is fattening
  2. Get a burrito and add all the great food I love, including sour cream and guac, and save my leftovers for when I am hungry again.
  3. I don’t go to burrito bars because I always eat too much when I go there.

When I was a dieter, I would answer these questions like this:






With my Healthy Thin Mentality, I answer these questions






Do you see how much better life is with a Healthy Thin Mentality?  Don’t the dieter answers seem sad?  But I want you to know this too:  I understand that you want to be a nice weight. I know you want to fit into your favorite jeans.  What I am trying to tell you, without body shaming anyone, is that your Healthy Thin Mentality will not only make you happier and de-stressed around food.  It will get you to your best weight.

If I could scream this from the top of a mountain so that all dieters could hear this, I would.  Help me scream this message.  I can’t afford ads on TV!!


Ah – The Big Soft Drink Debate

BloombergOur nation’s diet mentality makes legislating against large sugary drinks seem appropriate.  We are trying to “protect our children.”

But, this is like putting a band aid on a huge gash.  It doesn’t help because it isn’t addressing the problem.

Here is the problem:  People don’t eat or drink in response to true hunger or thirst.   They eat and drink based on:

  • Time of day
  • Getting a “good deal” (that extra large soda is five cents more)
  • Habit
  • In preparation for a future diet (might as well eat today, tomorrow I diet!)
  • -boredom-  “eat-o-tainment

Etc.,etc., etc…

But no one teaches their children to listen to their body to decide what and how much to eat or drink.  Mothers read the latest fad diet or magic food combinations and indoctrinate their children.  This is all done with good intentions, I know.

But, why give your child a list of rules, when you could give your child a much better, long term solution.  Teach your children to respect their hunger and satiety.  And the best way to do that is to model a thin mentality.  Because kids copy their parents.

Back when I was a dieter, I would lug in cases and cases of diet soft drinks into my house, month after month.  I thought I loved it, I was such a dieter.

When “released” from my diet mentality, everything looked different.  Why would I drink six diet soft drinks in a day when one real one, or actually one half of a real one, was what answered my craving.  And yes, I guess the 75 calories I drank of cola was more than the diet coke I drank, but it was also completely satisfying, and probably way better for me than quenching my thirst with huge amounts of 30-ingredient diet soda.

I no longer quench my thirst with diet drinks.  I drink water.  Believe it or not, I prefer that, honestly, I am not being “good.”  And when I want a sugary drink, for whatever reason (who cares! it isn’t “evil”)  I have it and then move on.

So, yea, I guess to protect the diet mentality people from themselves, we need to legislate against huge sugar drinks.(?!)  Well how about helping people develop their “thin” mentality instead?


Response to question “What about Emotional Eaters?”

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What do we humans do to comfort ourselves?  We rest, we eat, we hug.  Basic drives, right?

There is nothing wrong with providing your fantastic body with some comfort in the form of food that you love!  People may call that eating emotionally.  I call it normal.

When I am “down” for some reason and want to take care of myself, I wait for hunger and take extra effort to take care of myself in the nicest way I can.  And that includes eating the food I love the most, in a nice setting, etc.  Whether that is at my kitchen table, or in a restaurant, or in my bed, while I am watching TV.  Yep!  I eat in bed watching TV- a big dieter no-no.  But since my thin mentality is strong, it is no problem.  I have my snack or whatever in the most comfortable place I can find (my warm bed, especially since it has been so cold out!) and enjoy myself, feeling taken care of, and wonderful.

I do not feel guilty or bad afterward.  Why would I?  I waited until I was hungry and had myself a wonderful little meal, enjoyed it until I wasn’t hungry anymore, and then relaxed and read, or watched TV or whatever.  What a wonderful way to end a hard day and “comfort” myself.

This is possible for me because my body and I have built a “trust relationship.”   I will not starve my body on a diet and my body will not push me into bingeing.  I promise my body that I will feed it when I am hungry, and I will not push food into it when hunger is absent.

You need to build that same trust with your body.  Because, at this point, you may picture yourself eating emotionally by finishing a whole bag of potato chips.

Let me emphasize:

No, that is not what I do, nor is it what I recommend for anyone.  Instead, follow this thin mentality behavior:

If I feel the need to comfort myself (eat emotionally) I first tell myself, “fine, as soon as I am hungry, I can comfort myself with food.  Then when I get hungry, if I am craving potato chips, and I do, (I don’t know or care why, I trust myself)  I take a little bowl and put a handful in it.

You may say,”Well if I can eat what I want, why don’t I just take the whole bag?”

OK, here is why.  Because I know, from experience, that when I crave potato chips, I am usually satisfied with a handful.  They are delicious, but hold no magic power over me the way they did when I was a dieter.  And since I am “allowed” to have them whenever I am hungry, it just isn’t a big deal.  I enjoy them, a lot, but they aren’t magic!  I can put them down!

You will be able to too.

Start right now.  No more diets. Take that possibility away and your whole view of food and eating changes completely.  Your motivation to eat emotionally when you are not hungry will get weaker and weaker.

You will normalize your relationship with food.  Then, when you need to comfort yourself with food, you will do so appropriately.  (Appropriate amounts, when hungry)

The diet industry has taught you that this isn’t true.

I am telling you that IT IS!


Thin People Versus Dieters- Who Uses What

artificial-sweetenersWhen I went on my first diet,  my goal was to diet, lose 10 pounds, and then stop dieting.

But that is not what happens.

You diet, you lose 10 pounds, you stop dieting and the weight comes back.  So what do you do?  You diet again, lose weight, then it comes back again.  Then you diet and lose weight and you gain it back again.

I did this for decades.

Now that I am a naturally thin, diet free, happy eater with a healthy Thin Mentality I realize how different being a dieter and having a healthy Thin Mentality are.

Do you?

Do the following sentences apply to a dieter or a healthy Thin Mentality eater.

  1. You lose weight and your weight remains stable for decades
  2. You devote time every day to evaluating your food choices
  3. You weigh yourself to see if you are doing okay
  4. You eat foods based on how they make your body feel.
  5. You limit social activity so you can be sure you have proper food.
  6. You don’t weigh yourself, or you weigh yourself just occasionally.
  7. You have a closet full of clothes that fit.
  8. Getting dressed in the morning is a pleasure, not frustrating.
  9. You are influenced by others when you are deciding what to eat.
  10. You eat when you are hungry, and delay eating anymore until hunger returns
  11. You eat breakfast because you are trying to avoid being hungry.
  12. You love being hungry because then you can have the extreme pleasure of eating something you love,
  13. You use little chemical packets containing “who knows what” to sweeten your coffee instead of a little sugar because you think that those packets are more healthful than one or two 16 calorie pack of sugar in your coffee.

Key:  Healthy Thin Mentality:  1,4,6,7,8,10,12.

No change I have ever made in my life has made a more positive impact on me than learning the value of my own body and its wisdom.  I want that for every single one of you who reads this, it is that good.  Let me know how I can help you do this – I am putting as much out there as I can, but, for example,  would you want to participate in a (free) webinar?

I am always looking for more ways to spread the sanity of a life without diets, and a life that is fully rooted in the amazing pleasure of food and eating.  Suggestions welcome. 🙂


Take This Quick Thin Mentality Quiz!

watch-dog-computerSee how you do on this little 5 question “test” of diet mentality versus “thin mentality!”

1.  You wake up and are not hungry, so you don’t eat.  But you know that food won’t be available when you are at a meeting later this morning.  What do you do?

  • a.  Just eat anyway, it won’t taste that good because you aren’t hungry, but you really should eat.
  • b. Bring a small portable snack in your purse or briefcase and find a moment or two to eat it when your hunger starts distracting you.
  • c. Don’t eat and just suffer through the hunger when it hits you.

2.  Your best friend made a delicious cake for you for your birthday.  She clearly worked really hard on it, and now she has put a piece on the plate in front of you.  What do you do?

  • a.  Just tell her that there is no way you are going to eat that cake.  You are not hungry and you just aren’t going to sacrifice your thin mentality to be courteous by eating it.
  • b.  You take a couple of bites and rave about how good it is and how much you appreciate it.  You ask if you can take the rest home and enjoy it later.  You give her a big hug and tell her every time you take a bite you will remember what a good friend she is.  Then you take the cake home, enjoy it with your family, freeze some for later if you don’t think you will eat is so you won’t waste it.  And you are thankful that you have a great friend.
  • c.  You eat the piece she gave you.  It looks so good and you don’t want to hurt her feelings.

3.  You worked out three days in a row and feel really good about that.  When you go out to dinner that night you are really hungry.  What do you do?

  • a.  Realize that working out does make you hungrier!  You simply pay attention to both your hunger and satiety signals.  You may end up eating a little more than usual because you have been so active, but you still rely on your body to guide you.  Instead of saying to yourself, “I worked out a lot and should eat more,” you say, “Wow, working out made me a bit hungrier, so I will enjoy some more food until my hunger is quiet.”
  • b.  You order more food because you know that you burned a lot of calories over the past few days and you deserve to eat more.
  • c.  You are worried about eating more than usual so you ignore your hunger and just try to get by with the least food possible.

4.  You have a Christmas Party tonight and you are still at home and are already really hungry.  What do you do?

  • a.  Just stay hungry and go to the party and try to eat foods that aren’t too fattening.
  • b.  Eat a meal now and then go to the party.
  • c.  Have a small snack, just enough to take the edge off, and then go the party and enjoy the beautiful special food when your hunger starts distracting you again.  And when your hunger is calm, delay eating anymore until hungry again.

5.  You are visiting with your family and are hungry and craving a baked potato with butter and sour cream and salt and pepper.  You make yourself a nice plate and sit down to eat it in front of your family.  You get some looks of disappointment from your Mom who mutters that the potato would be better for you without all that butter and sour cream.  What do you do?

a.  Realize that your mom has a diet mentality and that she thinks she is helping you.  Just smile and tell her thanks for caring and keep eating your potato with butter and sour cream until you are not hungry anymore. (Which is different than being full!)  And you think to yourself that once you thin mentality is really strong, you will share your “journey” with her because she would be happier with a thin mentality too.

b.  You try to explain to your Mother what you are trying to do.  When she starts talking about nutrition and fat you do your best to explain.  When the whole family starts saying how ridiculous it is to eat butter if you are trying to lose weight, you just keep trying to explain.

c.  You scrape off the butter and sour cream and do your best to please your mother.


Okay, how did you do?  Answers:  1b, 2b, 3a, 4c, 5a.

No matter how you did, remember that replacing your diet mentality with a thin mentality is a process.  It goes against a lot of what you hear and see.  That is okay though!  Just come back here for support and you will eventually understand the wisdom of this.  Your body and soul both will thank you!