Archive for: June, 2016

You Can’t Believe You Ate The Whole Thing!



You find yourself eating something in a quantity that you can’t believe is okay.  And, to top it off, the food you are eating is “bad.”

Then, after you have eaten it, whatever it is,  you feel bad because you can’t believe your body would ask for it.

Well, my body asks for non-nutritious food sometimes- and it doesn’t worry or frighten me anymore.  Here’s why:
Example 1:   If I eat something when I am hungry for it and it is truly delicious to me, down to the last bite,  there is no problem.  I just move on with my day.
Example 2:   If I eat something because “I might as well finish it because I already blew it”  there IS a problem because:
This kind of rationalization is not part of a healthy Thin Mentality.
I understand how difficult it it is to eat something “bad” and feel “good.”  But remember, my body, and yours, knows exactly how much energy (food) you took in, and will ask for future energy (food) based on that.
Give your smart and fabulous body a chance to show you that if you eat a 1000 calorie sundae in the middle of the day, for example,  you will have much less hunger for the rest of the day.    You must respect that lack of hunger by not eating.  That is the key to eating with freedom, no stress, and pure enjoyment.  You respect hunger AND you respect non-hunger.
And it is the key to returning to your ideal weight.
The biggest change in my eating patterns since going from a diet mentality to a healthy Thin Mentality is that I notice I eat more during the day, and less at night.  That makes so much sense when you think about it.  I used to skimp all day, to try to be “good” and then eat a lot at night.  The daytime skimping wasn’t good and the nighttime eating made me feel awful.
Now with a healthy thin mentality, I don’t skimp in the day.  I eat what I need to stop hunger and to delight my senses.  Then at night, there are times when I eat very little.  Now I know you are saying, “Wow, I could never do that, I love a big dinner etc.”
BELIEVE ME!  I would have said the same thing!!
But everything, and I mean EVERYTHING changes when you stop using a bunch of diet mentality reasons to eat or not eat.  When your body leads you, you NEVER suffer deprivation.  You eat when you are hungry.  You don’t eat when you are not.  And honestly, it is not hard at all to eat very little at night when you get used to hunger being the only reason to eat.
Folks, I used to be a wandering night-time eater, I know what it feels like!  You open cabinets and the fridge in search of “something.”  That goes away!  Your appropriate response to hunger all day calms down your night.  And it is such a relief!
You scratch your arm when it itches.  You don’t when it does not.
You use the bathroom when you need to.  You don’t when you do not.
You sleep when you are tired (hopefully) You don’t when you are not
You stretch your legs when they are cramped up.  You don’t when they are not.
All these normal physical cues are paired with your reaction to them.
Eating is the same way.
Stay in the present, trust yourself even when you feel that diet mentality freaking out, and when you are not hungry, delay eating until you are.  You CAN do this!!

No Such Thing as Spot-Reducing!

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“Ten tips to lose belly fat!”
“Foods that you should avoid to get rid of belly fat!”
“The 10 minute belly fat buster.”

UGH!  These ads pop up everywhere.

Here is the thing-

There is no way to “spot reduce.”

Yet many companies out for a quick buck give you a stream of gimmicky advice on how to get flat abs.

It could be foods to eat or not eat, supplements or specific exercises.  The exercises may make you feel accomplished because you feel sore.  You may even strengthen your core.  And that is fine..

But,  they do not reduce your waist!  If anything, ab work can make your abs stronger, which may mean bigger,  (depending on your body’s tendency to put on muscle) which means your good intentions to get a smaller waist turn into a larger one.

Ah! Do not fall prey to those ab busting myths!

The way to get a smaller waist, or flat abdomen is:

Get to your ideal weight range.

Why?  Because absence of body fat around  your middle allows your ab muscles  to show.  That is what muscle definition is. You don’t need to build abs to see muscle, you need to reduce the fat lying on top of them.

Unless you do surgery or liposuction, which I am not suggesting, the only way to lose belly fat is to lose body fat in general.  And again, I am not pushing you to do this.  I am simply telling you that it is not logical to go on specific abdomen shrinking programs because they do not work.   Again, you can spot build, you cannot spot reduce.

Moral of the story?

Once again, your best bet for a happy, healthy body, and a stress-free relationship with food is to reconnect eating with hunger.

As you return to your ideal weight, your abdomen will become smaller in proportion to the body good ole Mother Nature gave you.  Maybe you have great legs and carry extra in your mid section.  Hey, that is just you and that is fine.  Or maybe your body holds more weight in your legs, and your abs are flatter.  Well that is fine too!  Accept that because you cannot change your body type, like my other most recent blog described.  You can, however, enjoy the full potential of your body by matching eating with hunger.

And there is nothing more attractive than a person who is happy in their own skin, and fully participates in all of life’s pleasures.  Including eating!

And when you connect eating with hunger, you can be your ideal weight, enjoy your body type, and eat foods you love.

Ta Da!  Yes, it really is that simple.




You Are What You Are- Yes!!

body-typesI was very young, maybe 14, and very woman in my life was an extreme dieter.  (Except one, more on that later.)

So in an effort to be thin, I cut calories, lost 10 pounds, and that was that.

No, it wasn’t.  By following the lead of all those women around me who acted like drinking weird protein out of a dixie cup instead of eating dinner was fine, I took the first step to 25 years of dieting.

I had absolutely no idea that by suddenly cutting calories by 50%, I was putting my body on high alarm.  I didn’t realize that my body would fight back, fight me, and work very very hard to regain that weight.  My metabolism would drop, I would develop cravings for high calorie food, I would become obsessed.

What I know now, all of these years later, is that my reaction to that calorie deprivation was 100% normal.  It was my body insisting that I survive.  It was my body packing on weight for the next famine.  And although it caused me so much dismay at the time, I understand, and even appreciate it now.

After all, how long has the human race been struggling with too much food, as opposed to too little?  In the scheme of history, it is the blink of an eye.  And our ancient survival skills are as strong as they were when we lived in caves and endured a continual struggle to eat enough.

So there I was, at age 14, looking at myself and deciding that I could manipulate my calories and turn myself into a body type that I was not born into.  I am a mesomorph.  If I were a dog, I would be a cocker spaniel or a golden retriever.  Not skinny. Not long limbed.  And I wanted to be.

So the first mistake that I made, at that very young age, was that I fell prey to was messages from the diet industry and the women around me that being skinny, even if it wasn’t my body type, was possible and worth the struggle.  So I dieted  and started looking more like an Irish Setter, or an ectomorph.  There are three body types that scientists have long recognized: endomorph: curvy, mesomorph: medium, and ectomorph:lanky.- for more on this, google it! 😉

Trying to diet your way from mesomorph to ectomorph is possible because when you lose weight, your limbs do seem longer.  But, to keep that weight off, especially after a diet that cut your calories significantly, is nearly impossible.  It is only possible, actually, through a rigid, permanent disregard for your body’s signals to you to eat. In other words, you must forever live with hunger, and cravings that you ignore.  And 99.9 % of people will not keep the weight off for the rest of their lives.

And then what happens, is that you start believing that living with hunger and obsessive cravings is normal.  And that you will never get away from it.

But, here is what you MUST understand to get out of this hole:

When you accept your body type- And I don’t mean accepting 50 extra pounds, I mean accepting that you are not an ectomorph, and when you being to embrace your body’s signals to you to eat and not to eat, you no longer have:

  1. obsessive cravings
  2. a desire to eat without hunger
  3. up and down weight gain and loss
  4. a need to plan your life around food
  5. know and respect your body type

Remember earlier that I said there was only one woman in my life who wasn’t diet obsessed when I was young?  Well those of you who have read my book know that it was my grandmother.  She was tiny and ate was she wanted.  I decided that instead of modeling my behavior after dieters (my mother, stepmother, mother in law, step-mother in law, aunts, etc., ) I would model my behavior after the ONLY naturally thin woman I knew: my grandmother.

After all, if you want to be thin, and by thin, I mean in YOUR idea weight range, why would you copy dieters?  Copy naturally thin people instead.  So I did.

And that is where my entire Healthy Thin Mentality perspective was born.  (16 years ago)

So I spent from age 14-40, dieting and not dieting and hyper focused on my weight, every bite I ate.  WHAT A WASTE OF MY LIFE!

Friends, DON’T DO THIS TO YOURSELF.  Yes, I am screaming it today.

If you have never dieted, don’t start!

And if you have, let me help you undo the damage.

I am very aware that the number of naturally thin people out there to “copy” have all but vanished.  My role model was born in 1900 before all of the nonsense – extreme dieting and extreme exercise, and perfect smoothies, and meal replacements and money grubbing diet companies, and expert of the day, and Dr. Tarnower, and Dr. Phil, and Dr. Atkins and Dr. Oz made millions off of their contradictory diet advice and the food pyramid that was built with influence from the food industry bla bla bla!!

So who are you going to copy?  Let me be your “grandmother!!”

I have learned how to be naturally thin.  I do things I never thought I would, with ease, without any angst, without even thinking about it- like:

  • Skip dinner because I am not hungry.
  • Eat a lot of food because I am hungry, without any guilt or bad feelings
  • go to the gym because i feel like it and do a workout that energizes istead of depleting me.
  • not go the gym without guilt
  • go to the movies and not eat popcorn (because I am not hungry) and feel zero deprivation
  • go to the movies and get popcorn with butter because I am hungry and feel no guilt
  • keep all the food I love in my kitchen with no worry that I will eat it when I am not hungry
  • eat dessert because I am hungry for it, with no guilt.
  • bring home leftovers
  • ignore the leftovers because I craved something else
  • happily ignore the bread at dinner
  • happily eat the bread at dinner
  • be happy, relaxed, normal, have a stable weight, and not be obsessed about any of the silliness…


Of course my new “obsession” is to help you.  I see you when I am out.  I see beautiful young girls picking at tiny salads and talking about diets.  I see overweight women look at my plate of normal food.  I see women trying to exercise their way out of heaviness (that doesn’t happen.)   I am asked by strangers what my secret diet is.

Ah!!!  No secret.  Connect eating with hunger.  Stop dieting.  And for those of you who worry about getting the nutrition you need, you WILL crave healthy food.  And what is way worse for you than eating a non-perfect food is stressing about food and your weight.

The most healthful thing for your body is to;

  • have a nice stable weight – important for mental health and physical health
  • eat because you are hungry, period.
  • not eat extra food that your body has to digest, healthy food or not!
  • have a positive mental outlook, which food and weight obsession cripples.

Let me know if you have any ideas on how I can help you more.  I have written a book and a workbook etc.  But I am open to suggestions-  Thanks for reading.  You CAN do this.


Do You Water Your Flowers when it is Raining?

Watering the flowers in the rain.

Watering the flowers in the rain.

Bring this analogy to mind whenever you are eating without hunger.

Imagine it is raining outside and then picture yourself standing there, with a hose, watering your flowers.  Doesn’t that seem ridiculous?

It is just as ridiculous to eat without hunger as it is to water flowers in the rain.

But over and over again, we have been told to ignore the “weather,”  (your hunger, your lack of hunger)  and water your flowers (eat) based on some schedule instead of your actual needs.

I know, I know, you think you don’t know your needs.  Stop.

When you start paying attention to the weather- (again, your hunger,) you will start to notice it.  Remember, you are used to ignoring your body.  You keep your head down and eat because some celebrity told you to, or not to, and you eat what you eat because it is the “healthy, magic” food of the year.

But your amazingly resilient body is just waiting for you to start listening again.  You will do return to your ideal weight doing things such as:

  • Sit at dinner and not eat because you aren’t hungry.
  • Eat a cookie in front of everyone because you are hungry for a sweet.
  • Eat salad for breakfast because you wanted it.
  • Eat waffles for dinner because you felt like it.

NO food rules, no deprivation, no struggle.

Hungry? Eat.  What do you eat?

Use your common sense and eat food that makes you feel good.  If you love spicy food but it makes you feel sick, do you eat it? Duh! No.  If you eat chocolate and it makes your pms go away should you eat it when you are hungry for it?  Yes.  If you drink milk and it upsets your stomach should you drink it? No!  If you love bread pudding but you feel tired and sleepy after you eat it should you eat it?  Duh!!!  NO.  If you eat a kale salad with salmon and you feel great for hours afterwards should you eat it? Well, what do you think?

People, use your common sensed and stop paying for food advice.

Not hungry?  Stop watering your flowers in the rain.



Before and After Pictures are often Faked or Stolen

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Images influence us.

And when dieters see before and after pictures, they are desperate to believe them.

So, logic and common sense are dismissed.  The image of a newly thin woman or man is so powerful, that it overshadows memories of losing weight only to gain it back again.  Just like the “orange girls” I use on my Facebook Page, the true after pics are of a person who has gained back the weight they lost, and more.

But did you know that many of the ads that you see steel “before and after” pictures from Facebook?  That is right, people lose weight and post their pictures, only to have some slimy diet company steal those pictures (easy to do) and add their own copy to those photos.

My message here is to BEWARE.

There is no quick fix.  There is no fast way to shed a bunch of weight on a fast diet and the keep that weight off.

But don’t despair.  When you relearn to connect eating with hunger, you won’t care.  You will understand that you have plenty of opportunities to eat every day.  And as long as you can nourish yourself when you are hungry, you are happy, your body calms down and begins to trust you, and you return to your ideal weight range.

This is a major perspective shift, I know.  It doesn’t demonize certain foods, it doesn’t require  a schedule, it doesn’t demand you drink water instead of eating when you are hungry.


Simply eat enough to quiet hunger, and get on with your day.  Over time, this easily becomes second nature, and it is a habit that you can sustain for the rest of your life because it work WITH your biology.  Right?  And fighting you biology is a fight you don’t want to enter.  Work WITH your hunger.  Work WITH your body.

And ignore all the foolish ads for quick fixes you see-  Oh yes, including that new one- GOLO.  It is just a new gimmick.

And to really get disgusted, read this about stealing Facebook images to use in before and after pics




Is Your Eating on Auto Pilot?

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If you wake up every morning, and go the your coffee maker and then go to your fridge and eat the same breakfast everyday, you may be engaging in auto-pilot eating.   And being on auto-pilot with respect to eating is not progress toward a healthy Thin Mentality.

Every single morning when and if  you eat, it should be in response to your particular hunger and cravings on that particular morning.  Comments like, “I always have toast and an egg for breakfast,” indicate a lack of respect for your body’s voice.

Unless your days are exactly the same in energy expenditure, it is highly unlikely that your body will crave the exact same breakfast or any food for that matter, day after day, week after week, month after month.  So, as you build your healthy Thin Mentality, throw away food routines.  Be open to the possibility that your body will ask for different food today than yesterday.  Be open that you need more, or less! food today than yesterday.

Be open to the possibility that less food will satisfy you than you thought…

In other words, reconnect with your voice many, many times every day to guide your eating choices.  Put away all of your assumptions about what you need. Silence the self talk that ignores your body’s cravings.  Instead of saying, “I should eat some low fat yogurt and granola,” ask yourself, “What is my body asking me to nourish it with?”

And nourish doesn’t mean you are looking for “perfect” food.  It means you are responding to the nutritional needs your body expresses to you through cravings.

And, as I sit here writing this, I am sipping on an ice cold coke.  I usually have coffee, but I was craving a coke.  No, not a perfect food.  But I am not perfect either.  I am just a person who trusts myself and knows that a coke is not poison.  And I also know that my body cravings come from somewhere and fighting them is futile.  So I drink a coke and move on.

So, instead of judging  your food choices too harshly, stay focused on making sure those choices are “fresh” and not from a stale “auto-pilot”system.  You will arrive at nourishing your body in a healthful way.  And you too will realize that when your body craves an “imperfect” food, it is No Big Deal.

The next time you eat will be different.



How to Be Smart About This


It may seem confusing because I am telling you to “turn off ” your brain and listen to your body. But let me emphasize that your brain is important in other ways, as you develop your thin mentality.

Here is how:

Don’t use your brain to decide if you are hungry.   Use your brain to notice what kinds of eating satisfies you the best.

For example, use your brain to notice that if you eat more slowly, you are better at noticing when your hunger is gone.  This may sound similar to “diet advice.”

But the perspective is different.

I am simply telling you that while you are learning about your hunger, you may need some training wheels.  If you eat quickly, you may not notice your hunger has been answered and it is time to stop.  But!!  Once you establish your thin mentality, eat according to your natural rhythms.

I eat really fast.  So what?  Most “nutritionists” would say eating quickly is bad for me.  I say, “whatever!”

Since I have lived with my thin mentality for 16 years, after dieting for DECADES, I am really in tune with my body and I can eat fast, which I simply enjoy, and know when I have had enough.

But, for you novices, it may help to slow down at first, until you familiarize yourself with how much food you need to answer hunger.  Notice that I never say, “Until you are full.”  Because… being “full” is not the goal.  Being “full” is now a feeling that I avoid because it feels awful.

Feeling good is when I am hunger neutral.  I am a zero on the hunger scale.  But I am also a zero on the “full” scale.

It is a very happy place to be.


That Thin Feeling…


That feeling you get when you drop a few pounds quickly makes you happy, I know.  You check yourself out in the mirror, notice that your pants are loose and your stomach feels smaller.

How do you feel when you gain it back?  How miserable are you when you reach into your closet and put those pants on and they are now really tight, or you can’t even pull them up?

That is the ying and yang of dieting.

A thin mentality person never gets that empty, newly thin feeling.  Your progress toward your ideal body weight comes at a pace that is not going to freak your body out.  It IS slower than dieting, for absolute sure.  No doubt.

But, like the turtle who wins the race against the rabbit, the thin mentality person “wins.”  Weight loss is permanent, in harmony with your biology.  You work WITH your body.  You don’t fight your instincts anymore.

I have to reiterate, as I do a lot, that working with your biology includes eating when you are hungry and NOT eating when NOT hungry.  Yes, of course that is important.

Eating when you were NOT HUNGRY is what made you fatter than you want to be in the first place!  You did not get heavy eating when you were hungry.

So, if you miss that “Wow, I just dropped 5 pounds this week high” please remind yourself that you won’t miss the “Wow, I gained 7 pounds this week low.”


People!  Slow and steady wins the race.  Happy, thin, relaxed, smart.  That is you as a thin mentality person.  Join me!!


Dieting Disappointments Make You Think Hatefully about Yourself.


  • If  I can’t even control my weight, what does that say about me?
  • I don’t deserve a new bathing suit because I did not lose the weight I promised myself that I would.
  • Secretly, I think thin people are smarter, and more disciplined than me..
  • I am not going to eat any food I like so I won’t be tempted and I won’t gain weight back.
  • Every part of my body has too much fat on it, and since I gained weight back, it is really squishy.
  • If I don’t go on vacation with my family, I won’t have to get in a bathing suit, and I can eat diet food all week alone at home instead.

Dieting is restriction, payback, rejecting your body,  and rejecting your life.

You avoid parties, food, and friends so you can “stay” on your diet.  Dieting makes you sad and more likely to feel lonely and isolated.  For example, you didn’t lose weight this am, which makes you sad, so you aren’t going out for coffee because you don’t want to be tempted by the bakery, so you stay home and isolate yourself, and then you go to bed, early, to avoid the ice cream in the fridge.

Do you see how dieting is about living your life from a point of weakness and negativity. It is from disconnecting from yourself and letting someone else, some expert, take the reigns and tell you what to eat, when to eat.

This simply leaves you weak, sad and feeling defeated.

(Yes the first diet experience is different than this, because you lose weight the first time you diet.  And it isn’t so bad.  But no one ever diets once.  And what does that tell us??)

Your healthy Thin Mentality is about Love.  Corny, I know, but true.  It is

  • Loving food
  • Loving your body’s voice
  • Loving lifes

Your healthy Thin Mentality is about nurturing,  Nuturing your love for food, your body, your life.

It is about waking up in the morning and not succumbing to a scale.  It is about choosing when and what to eat based on what your body is asking you to provide.

It is about your strength, your rejection of advertisements designed to cripple your self-trust, and your commitment to respecting your body.

When you nuture love– love of yourself, your body and your wisdom,–you thrive. And, you realize that eating without hunger isn’t fun.  It isn’t loving.

It is disrespectful of your body.

Think, “How can I best nurture myself?  What food, beverage, activity, relaxation would please my body.

Nurture, not punish.  Love, not hate.


How do You Answer These Questions?

call-meWhen I was a dieter, I answered these questions completely differently than I do now, with a healthy Thin Mentality.

I. If there is some food left on my plate, I

  1. Really struggle to leave it behind
  2. Don’t even notice if I am not hungry anymore
  3. Clear the plate so I am not tempted anymore

II.  When I am about to go to bed and am hungry

  1. Have a little snack so I feel good and nourished before bed.
  2. Am happy because maybe I will weigh less in the morning
  3. Have a bowl of ice cream because I was bad today anyway

III. When I know I have to get into a bathing suit in a week I

  1. Eat only protein and vegetables so I lose weight fast.
  2. Make sure I have a bathing suit that I like
  3. Figure out a way to get out of going

IV.  When I am sick and know I am dehydrated I

  1. Drink water
  2. Drink ginger ale because I usually don’t let myself have that, but since I don’t feel well I let myself
  3. Weigh myself to see if I weigh less.

V.  When I go to a burrito bar,

  1. Get a salad because the burrito is fattening
  2. Get a burrito and add all the great food I love, including sour cream and guac, and save my leftovers for when I am hungry again.
  3. I don’t go to burrito bars because I always eat too much when I go there.

When I was a dieter, I would answer these questions like this:






With my Healthy Thin Mentality, I answer these questions






Do you see how much better life is with a Healthy Thin Mentality?  Don’t the dieter answers seem sad?  But I want you to know this too:  I understand that you want to be a nice weight. I know you want to fit into your favorite jeans.  What I am trying to tell you, without body shaming anyone, is that your Healthy Thin Mentality will not only make you happier and de-stressed around food.  It will get you to your best weight.

If I could scream this from the top of a mountain so that all dieters could hear this, I would.  Help me scream this message.  I can’t afford ads on TV!!