Archive for: August, 2015

Do You Know How Wise Your Body Is?


  I cannot tell you how happy I am to get emails from you telling me about your progress.  As I sit here at my keyboard trying to reach out to people to let them know there is another way, it is so rewarding to hear back from you.

So thank you for taking the time to let me know that you are out there.

I want to tell you about another factor this is so important to eating with a thin mentality.

Besides our messed up relationship with food, we have a messed up relationship with sleep.  We don’t respect what sleep does for our body.  On the TV show “Morning Joe” I watched Dr. Nancy Snyderman talk about the relationship between sleep deprivation and strokes and obesity and type 2 diabetes. They spoke of sleep deprivation and a link to heart disease.

And I found it fascinating that the discussion was paying respect to the differences among people and their sleep needs.  Why do we not talk about that when it comes to eating?

And, going along with my mantra to stop listening to the experts and pay attention to your body, they talked about vitamins.  For years, we have been told to take calcium, vitamin d, multi vitamins, etc.  Now, Dr. Snyderman said that she had stopped taking everything, except a baby aspirin!

The only answer that makes any sense is to get in touch with the wisdom of your body.  Take care of yourself by respecting the signals your body sends you.

Eat what you crave when you are hungry.  Stop eating when you body stops asking for food.  Sleep when you are tired.

Then, at the end of the discussion, they talk about a new Burger King sundae that has ice cream and bacon.  It is 510 calories.

They made fun of this dessert.

Ok, I am not saying to go buy this dessert.

But if you think that this dessert is a poison, you are wrong.  If you had a piece of bacon at breakfast with your eggs, for example, and then later in the day, you had a serving of ice cream that you were craving, it would not seem so weird.

But put them in a bowl together and everyone is up in arms.

Eating a 510 calorie Burger King sundae when you are hungry for some fat may be perfectly appropriate for you.  Remember that eating fat is important for brain function, and some studies say that even for mental health and anxiety.   I only point these studies out because I want to show you that science can swing both ways on issues like this.

Then later in the show, a guest spoke of his book Incognito, Inside the Brain to talk about how your brain would perceive that bacon sundae.  Then Mika, the host and a truly righteous dieter, admits that her brain would tell her she wanted to eat five of them!  How sad!  When I was a dieter, my brain would have said that as well.  As a thin mentality person that sundae has ZERO power over me.

I don’t think my body would ever crave that, because that is not the kind of food my body likes.  I like plenty of high fat, sweet things, but not that.   There is no value judgment here.  I simply know me, and my hunger, and what I tend to crave.

You are different.  And isn’t that nice?  And isn’t that what makes the world go around?

So, back to the bottom line.  No food is evil.  The starving children in Uganda will tell you that.

But eating when you are not hungry will cause you to be fat.  Whether you are eating too many vegetables, too much fat or too much pasta, you will get fat overeating anything.

So choose your food based on the biological cues your body is sending to you

The vitamin companies make money convincing you that you need them.

The diet industry makes money convincing you need them.

Fight back!


Less Eating, More Enjoyment, Less Guilt, More Pleasure

be nice

Yes, if you are heavy now, even 10 pounds overweight, once you develop your thin mentality you will, indeed be eating less.

Don’t panic!

Why not?

Because when you eat what you want when you are hungry, life is good.  It is denying food when you really need something that STINKS!  Ha!  Really, it does.

I remember dieting and having that weak feeling and grumpy state of mind from no carbohydrates.  And I will tell you, that I think I had good willpower.  I would bust through those times and end the day with the “right” amount of calories, carbs, etc., for whatever diet I was on.  But when I got to my goal weight, I felt like I was a rubber band that was going to snap back.

And I always did.   I NEVER stayed at that goal weight for honestly more than a day!?!

But eating less with my thin mentality is NOT HARD.  I am not fighting myself.


Last night at dinner I barely ate my entree.  (We were out.)  That would never have happened when I was a dieter.  I would have shoved it down because I was about to go on a diet and I “better eat it while I can,”  or I would have been on a rigid diet and not ordered what I really wanted and scarfed up every bite, or I would have been on a diet and just gone off of it because I couldn’t stand it.  (And having a glass of wine with dinner always gave me some extra courage to ditch my diet for the night.)

It is not hard to refuse food when I am at dinner and not hungry.  Believe me that this would have seemed so unbelievable to me 12 years ago.

Why the heck would I eat this and make my body feel bad (overeating feels BAD when you are in touch with your body!) when I can eat whenever and whatever I want when I am hungry?

No motivation for over eating whatsoever.

So you love food!?

So do I.  I enjoy food more than when I was a dieter, more than when I just gave up, more than ever.  It is a joy.

And being joyful and thin is worth the complete perspective shift and the effort it takes to develop your thin mentality.

Honestly, stick with me, I am here to help you with as much encouragement as I can.  Why?  Because I wish someone had helped me.  🙂

So today-  every time you are hungry, notice it, notice how much or little it takes to satisfy yourself.  See how your hunger comes (and goes, it is not a straight line.)  Get to know yourself and what you like.  What do you crave?  What food did you think you liked, but now that you are “free” to eat it, it isn’t all that exciting?

Take the time to figure this stuff out.

It will help you connect with yourself, and stay true to your body,  Your body is your “friend,” and on your side.  Be nice to it.


Remember What Your Real Choices Are

chart of rebound weight 600

Does this sound familiar?

You say to yourself, “This “diets are fattening” idea is interesting,  I will give this a try, but if it doesn’t work and I pig out or something, I will have to diet again..”


If you say that to yourself, you are dooming yourself to failure here.

The reason?

If say to yourself that you will go on a diet if you don’t lose weight by developing your thin mentality, you have given yourself an “out.”

But really, there is NO OUT!

What do I mean?  I mean that you must remember what your real choices are.

1.  Stop dieting and learn to behave, and then become, a naturally thin person.

2.  Give up completely and continue to gain weight

3.  Diet and have yo yo weight gains for the rest of your life.

Notice, that “diet and keep the weight off” is not there.  It is not there because it is not going to happen!  How do I know?  Well, if you are reading this, you have already tried this many many times.  And it hasn’t worked.  You have NOT kept it off.

Stop blaming yourself.  You are struggling under a flawed paradigm.  That is not to say you aren’t responsible for you.

I am just suggesting that you “keep it real!”   And that means no fooling yourself into thinking that if you just find the right diet, your problems will be solved.

So use today as a stepping stone to get closer to having the thin body you were meant to have.  And do this by 100% committing to eating as mother nature intended, in response to hunger.

If your body knows that you will feed it whenever it is truly hungry, it will relax and stop sending you “pig out” signals.    There is no joy in overeating when you can eat whenever you are hungry.  There is no joy in shoving a whole gallon of popcorn down the hatch at a movie when you ate exactly what you wanted at dinner.

Try it, stay committed and you will see…


Taste bud wisdom



Take a bite of something when you are not hungry.  Notice how it feels.  There is no big spark of taste bud happiness, is there?  It may still be “good,” but there are no fireworks, are there?

At this point, if I eat when I am not hungry, or hungry enough, I know it immediately because the food almost feels foreign in my mouth.  LIke my body is saying, “Hey, what the heck is this?”

Honestly, I remember a time when I would have said that life would be so great if I could just eat what I wanted.  I imagined myself eating tons of food and being slim.

Okay, well here is the thing:   With a thin mentality, you do eat whatever you want.  But the catch is, that you don’t end up eating as much as you thought you would.  That is the whole crux of it.

I know you may not believe me.  I would not have thought this was true either.  But, free yourself from the good food, bad food dieting tyranny that has crippled your ability to eat normally.  You can get normal eating back.  And when you eat normally, for your specific body, and body type, your weight returns to normal for you.

If you want to be super skinny, you are gong to have to eat abnormally.

But if you want to be normal/thin, rebuild your normal relationship with food.


Response to Email From New Bride



It is great to hear from you and I am so glad your wedding celebration and holiday was wonderful.   Now for the weight:

The first thing is I don’t know how tall you are-  just want to make sure you aren’t going for too small a size!  But assuming you aren’t…

Keep these thoughts in your head:

1.  Remember that yes, indeed, thin people do eat less.  So get really really picky.  Refuse to put anything in your mouth that isn’t up to your standards.  You want fresh, wonderful food that you are craving.  It is really powerful to be picky.  You feel in control, and like you are worth taking care of.  Some random snack off an old shelf is NOT good enough for you and your body.

I love it when people call me picky.  I take it as a complement.  Why wouldn’t I be a picky eater?  I am picky about other stuff!   I can not be persuaded by any circumstance or person to eat something when I am not hungry for it.  And that is a good feeling that I have protected and strengthened over the years, and you can too.

2.   And then, while you are eating, listen for your body to “put on the brakes” so to speak.  Be hyper aware of that.  See how soon you can stop eating and still feel good.  In other words-  let’s say your stomach, when it is busting full, is at a “10.”  Maybe you are doing really well and stopping at 5.  But maybe, if you want to lose more weight, you could try stopping at a 4.

This does not mean to stop when you are still hungry!  I cannot emphasize that enough!!!!.

It means just taking one or two bites less.   It does not mean suffering.  If you punish your body by denying food when you are hungry, you will pay for it.  You will have a backlash that includes those horrible binges.  This is really important because one day of bingeing can “undo” a couple of weeks of naturally thin eating.  Right?  Because if you are eating as a naturally thin person, you are probably diminishing your calorie count by 200-400 calories per day.   And we all know that a you a binge of 3000 calories takes a long time to counteract…

And as you learn about yourself and your hunger and where stopping at “4” is for you, you will make mistakes and stop eating too soon.  No big deal, just take a few more bites, right?  (Keep something with you, that you generally like, so if feel over-hungry and unhappy, you can take care of yourself.)

3.  Remember that you must continue to stay in the present.  I know losing weight is a goal that looms large in your head. I understand that and agree that is way more fun to be thin!  It is worth the effort  to get to a weight you like.

But don’t stop living and enjoying TODAY.  Putting off happiness because of your weight is a diet mentality.  Over time, as a naturally thin person, you will actually become more  and more comfortable with less food and that is how you lose weight.

It is hard to say that to a person who is new to building their thin mentality because it makes them fearful that they will be hungry and unhappy.

But, as I think you know already:

Delaying eating until you are hungry, and then enjoying what you are hungry for, and stopping when the pleasure of eating has diminished because you aren’t hungry anymore is NOT suffering.  It is really, really nice and we are lucky to have a whole lot of choices and delicious things available to us.   

But it takes time!  It took time to gain, it takes time to lose.  And your body is making adjustments along the way and that takes time to get used to.

For example- let’s say you weighed 170, and then your body had to get used to 160 and then it had to get used to 150.  This is taxing on your body, obviously.  Andy change, even good change, is stressful.   Give your body a chance to catch up!

4.  So, to sum up:

  • Be as picky about eating as you are about other things you really care about in your life (shoes?? ha!)
  • Trying eating a couple bites less- that adds up.
  • Stay in the present and enjoy how far you have come

And since I am an old married lady, here is a little piece of advice your husband might want you to have.  There is nothing sexy about a woman who is hyper focused on not eating food and losing weight.  It drains energy away from more important things…

Becoming naturally thin is about taking the focus off of denial and placing it on the joy of eating what you want, in harmony with your biology, not in harmony external forces-  (the clock, for example)

Your husband loves you and wants you to be happy.  Take care of yourself by being picky about what you eat, not by being obsessed with how quickly you can lose weight.  This is a lifetime change.  He will thank you for NOT being one of those wives who orders chicken with no skin and a dry salad.  He will be happy that you know how to enjoy food.

Hope you don’t mind that advice.  I just wish someone had told me that.    Thankfully, my husband put up with my dieting and grumpiness when my diet didn’t go well for a long time, but it is way more fun now.  🙂

Because I think you are not alone, I am posting this response on the blog- in an effort to help others-  thanks for the great questions and for contacting me.  I love to hear how you are doing !

Tally ho (my effort at being British for you!!)