Archive for: June, 2015

Dieting Isn’t Glamorous

jennifer-hudson-for-weight-watchers-590bes123110Your diet mentality is reinforced everyday by our culture.  Do not underestimate how many pro-diet messages you receive everyday.

Weight Watchers makes Jennifer Hudson look so glamorous as she is singing away.

I don’t know about you, but I never felt glamorous on a diet.  I felt grumpy.

And after the first few days, when my body adjusted to whatever diet that I was on, I would feel better.  I would be on a diet “high” where this diet was THE ONE.

  •  I would lose weight.
  •  I would go off the diet.
  •  I would gain the weight back.
  •  I went through this cycle so many times.  I am sure that you have too.

It is awful.

Make sure you remind yourself how awful that was.  You need to keep that memory alive as you replace your diet mentality with your thin mentality.

Otherwise, you might bargain with yourself  that you will just go on a diet if this thin mentality thing doesn’t work out.

Stop.  That bargain will keep your diet mentality alive.

Fully commit to giving up dieting.  Eat for one reason only- hunger.  And you will learn that hunger takes different forms.  Having a “taste for something,” can be hunger.  The more you listen to your body and answer the various ways that real hunger expresses itself to you, the better you will get at knowing you are eating for your body, not your brain.


How Do You Stop Eating When It Tastes So Good



I understand that you may need help learning when and how to stop eating.  People say stuff like this to me:

  1. Well, it still tastes good so it is hard to stop.
  2. How do I know when I am not hungry anymore?
  3. I am used to eating a certain amount and it feels so strange to not eat the same.
  4. I was taught that leaving food behind is wasteful.
Okay, I get all of these.  Let’s take them one by one:
1.  Yes I know food can still taste “good” when you are not hungry.   But pay attention to how much better it is when you are truly hungry.  And remember the pay off for this is huge.  Eating when you are hungry and not when you aren’t means that you can ALWAYS eat when you ARE hungry!  Keep reminding yourself of that.  For as pretty good as food can be when you aren’t hungry, NOT eating when you ARE hungry is terrible!
2.  It takes some time to reacquaint yourself with your hunger patterns.  Keep listening.  If you eat and are hungry 20 minutes later, you were probably still hungry and perhaps stopped eating a little too soon.  Just keep paying attention.  Practice listening and you will get the hang of it.  LIsten to your body’s voice without judgment, respond and reflect on how your hunger was taken care of and use that information the next time.
3.  Yes, if you are used to eating a certain amount it takes a little while to adjust.  If you always eat soup and salad and bread and dessert, it may take you a while to understand that you don’t need all of that to satisfy your hunger.  Or, maybe you need more?  This depends on you, your body, your metabolism, your level of activity etc.   Listen to your body’s voice instead of old habits.  And when you replace those old habits with new habits, it will be a permanent fix.
4.  You are not wasting food just because you didn’t put it in your stomach!  Put it in your fridge instead!  And as you learn about what amount of food works for you and get your Healthy Thin Mentality strong, you will be better at judging how much food to put on your plate.

How Do You Measure Success?

overweight looking at scales-1436140

As a dieter, you were used to weighing yourself to see how “successful” you were.

And part of what motivated you was getting on that scale every morning and seeing “where you were.”  And when you started gaining it back, that weigh-in ruined your day.

I understand because I did that too- for years- oops, decades-  ugh.

But I implore you,  as you develop your thin mentality, do not use the scale to punish or praise yourself.

This does NOT mean that I want you “giving in” to being fat.  That is not why I recommend that you stop weighing yourself all the time.

I have just found that weighing yourself all the time is consistent with a diet mentality, not a thin mentality.  Naturally thin people do NOT weigh themselves all the time!

And we are copying the behavior of the naturally thin people, not the dieters, because we don’t want to be dieters for the rest of our lives!   We want to be normal, non-obsessed, naturally thin people.

Think about it this way.  If you adopt the behavior of a successful person, chances are, you have a good, very good, chance of becoming successful yourself.  Similarly, if you adopt the behavior of a naturally thin person…

So- instead of measuring success with your scale, measure it with how many times in a day you exhibited behavior consistent with naturally thin behavior.

For example:

You woke up this morning and cut a ciabatti roll in half and put it in the toaster.  You got it out, and buttered it.   You put your favorite preserves on the side cause you like to dip the bread in it.  Then, when you were half way through you asked yourself, “Do I really want the rest,or am I just eating it because it is in front of me and is still warm and smells good?”  You think about it and realize that a naturally thin person would stop eating now.  The bread was wonderful, but you aren’t hungry anymore.  And you say to yourself, “When I am hungry again, I can eat it.”

When you have a meal like this, give yourself a gold star.  And soon, when your wall is covered in ’em, you will have transformed your diet mentality into a thin mentality.  And, over a period of time, your body will match your mentality.

How long this will take depends of course on how much you have eaten for reasons other than hunger, (in other words, how heavy you are.)   Yes, it will take a while – if you are very heavy.  But really, what choice is there?  Are you going to diet, lose and then diet and gain?  Please, do not fool yourself and say, “Oh no, I really do think that I can diet and keep it off.”  You know, that isn’t true.

Remember,your body doesn’t want to be fat.  It is waiting for you to respect its “I am NOT hungry anymore” signals….

If you put it on a diet, you will lose, then gain, and what you gain will be all fat, and your metabolism will be slower and you will be worse off than when you started.  How do I know?  The best predictor of the future is the past…


Diet Myths Sabotage Your Thin Mentality

healthy_substitutes_for_food_cravings2   One of the most enduring diet myths is that you can “replace” a high calorie item with a low calorie item and “save” calories and your body will not know the difference.


If you eat less in an effort to save calories, you do save them temporarily, but the effect of that lower calorie meal is that you will need more food later.  Doesn’t that make sense to you?

So instead of substituting a non fat, fake-sugar yogurt for the yogurt or food you really like, just eat the food you really crave, when you are hungry.   And as you eat it, truly enjoy it, without guilt or telling yourself you “should” be eating something else.

The diet industry has created that list of “shoulds” for you, and they make TONS of money making you believe their list is more important than the signals you get from your own body.  Do you let some company tell you when to go to the bathroom?  No, you rely on your body.

You “should” eat what your body is asking for.  And your body will surprise you with how many variable and wonderful foods it will crave- including really healthful stuff.  It will be far more satisfying to you, and help you calm down your food and eating/not eating obsession.

And how do you lose weight doing this?

Well once you understand that you can’t fool your body, you must start trusting your  body instead.  And the weight loss comes when you successfully match eating and hunger.  When you eat when you are hungry and stop when hunger is quiet, you will be eating appropriately for YOU.  And if you are doing this and not losing weight, try paying more attention to the “enough” signal.

And remember, you are the only one who can listen to your body.  If you don’t, no one will!  And wouldn’t that be sad?  If your fantastic, smart body went ignored for your whole life?

Bottom line:  (I don’t mind telling you the truth)  We need less food than we think… But when you can eat whatever you crave,  whenever you are hungry, you will be fine.  It is not eating when you are hungry that is so hard.



Low Calorie Food Does Not Fool Your Body!

If you are new to this blog, read the Introduction Blog first date May 2, 2012.

So your doctor or nutritionist tells you to eat the low calorie substitute whenever possible!  Oh really?

Do you think that your body is fooled by that?  Your body knows exactly what you ate!  It is digesting it.  And if you eat less calories, your body reacts accordingly, with less satisfaction, and more hunger later.

Why would you do that to yourself?  Why would denying your body the full fat yogurt it craved and providing it with a low fat, less satisfying and more “chemically” artificially sweetened yogurt be good?

Well if you are “dieting” then you are obeying the diet rule by eating the low calorie option.  But remember what that diet is teaching your body.  It is teaching your body that it will not be provided with the food it craves when you are hungry. You are not trusting your body’s hunger, cravings and satiety signals.  In turn, your body will not trust your brain.  And to fight back, as soon as you “slip” off your diet, your body will roar like an angry tiger to get you to EAT.  And Eat you will.

I know you have been there after a diet where you were so good for so long.  And then one day you slip and you stuff yourself full of food you don’t even like.  Why do you think that happens?  It is your body’s reaction to your complete defiance of your instinct to eat!

How do you get thin listening to your body?  Well how do you get thin fighting your body all the time!!

Make peace with your biological instincts of what to eat and when.  And refuse to eat for any other reason than true hunger.

Stay in the moment!!  Do not eat based on tomorrow’s meal plan or what you ate this morning or what exercise you will do later.

Eat exactly what you crave- yes CRAVE! not a bad word- Cravings are a gift!

And then STOP when you aren’t hungry.  Which, if you are listening to your body, doesn’t take that long to achieve.

But when you know that whenever you are hungry you can eat what you want, the joy of overeating is non existent.  Eating when you are hungry is amazing.  Shoving down more food than your body is asking for is just a habit.  And that habit can be broken.

And when you replace that habit by eating what YOU LOVE when you are hungry, you will be happy to stop eating for any other reason.


The Power of your Body


Diets ignore how powerful you are.

Your body is going to do everything it can to keep you alive.  When you starve yourself on a diet, you put your body on high alert.

First, your body adapts.  Have you ever noticed that just a few days into a diet, your appetite is less and you tolerate less calories  better than the first day of your diet?

This is your fantastic body, which is on “your side” adapting to help you.

Think of you living 2000 years ago and having to endure a famine.  It would be helpful if you were able to tolerate lower calories because you would be able to go on with with your daily life, including hunting or gathering or whatever you needed to do.

In addition, under extreme circumstances, your metabolism slows.  So when you diet, your metabolism slows.

Again, this would served you well 2000 years.

Guess what?  Our bodies are still fighting for us.  And our bodies don’t recognize the difference between a self imposed famine (diet) and a real famine.

I have gone over all of this in blogs before.  But I want to keep reiterating how illogical it is to fight your biology.  Work with your body, not against it.

And how do you work with your body?

You listen to it.  Your respect it.  You should, it is the best “thing” you will ever have.

And if you are wavering, thinking that maybe you just need to diet because you and your body just can’t be re-synchronized, do yourself a favor.  Write down all the diets you have been on.  Write down how much you lost.  And then write down how long it took to gain it back.

Then look at that list and ask yourself if you are really going to do that again.  Why do we ignore the dots that connect dieting with weight GAIN?

Whether you gain and lose the same 5 pounds, or whether you weight fluctuates much more than that, the problem is still dieting.

Free yourself.  Get thin by behaving thin: eat what you crave when you are hungry.  Respect your body enough to listen to it.  (Oh, yes, it will talk to you.  But after being ignored for so long, it is just a whisper, but it will get louder and louder. I promise.)