Archive for: February, 2015

If Your Plate Is ALWAYS Clean…


What are the chances, especially at a restaurant, that the amount of food they put on your plate is “just right?”

For me, the answer is just about never.  Usually, it is more than I need.  Sometimes it is not enough.  But very, very rarely does my hunger match up with what is on the plate.

Think about that.  That is pretty normal, right?  They don’t know me, my size, my activity level etc.  Why would the amount of food be “just right??”

Now, if I am home and make my own food, the chances are much better.  Why?  Because, after years- 15 now, of living as a thin mentality person, I know myself.  But, I still always leave open the possibility that I don’t need everything on my plate.

I need to emphasize here:

When you can eat whatever you crave whenever you are hungry, it is not hard to leave food behind.  I know you doubt that.  So did I.

Just start out leaving one bite behind, knowing that in fifteen minutes if you still want it, have at it.  Just give yourself a chance to get acquainted with how it feels to leave a bit behind.   Just give it a chance.

Eating everything on your plate is simply a habit.  And it is a habit you CAN break because eating according to your hunger instead of what is presented on your plate works with your body, not against it, like dieting.

And constantly fighting your body is what dieting advocates.

Instead, learn to listen to your hunger without panicking.   Relax, take a deep breath, and eat without desperation, or an eye on the future or the past.  Stay in the moment knowing that you will keep checking in with your hunger to see when it is calm.  When hunger is calm, when you are in “neutral,” not “full,” delay eating anymore.   Neutral is where you want to be.  The absence of hunger is neutral. It is a calm, good feeling.  Eating to where you are “full” causes changes in breathing, and a regretful feeling.  Not good.

It is a learning curve, of course.  But it is actually really enjoyable to re-learn how to eat.  Give yourself a chance.  You are not an out of control eating machine.  Your body is just completely freaked out from years of dieting.  It doesn’t know what crazy diet you are going to do next, so when given the chance your body is going to send you “eat more” signals in preparation for the next ridiculous fast you put it on.

Your job is to calm that down by reliably matching hunger and eating.  You can do it.  Give it a try.   One day, no, make that one meal at a time.  Mother Nature is smart.  Let her guide you.


Dr. Oz- Stop it!


I was grocery shopping the other day and my eyes landed on the “Women’s World” magazine near the check out.  On the cover was Dr. Oz promoting a crash diet.


I went on line to check it out.

He is promoting Dr. Furhman’s 7 day diet where you can lose a dress size in just one week. Bla bla bla.  And it’s not about not eating!  It is about eating as much as you want of nutrient dense foods like vegetables.  You can stuff yourself full of these and lose weight.


Is it news to you that you can eat a wheelbarrow full of kale and lose weight?  Come on!  All this crash diet teaches you is to ignore your feelings of fullness, cravings and hunger.  This is how you pervert your relationship with food-  this is how you disconnect with your body.  This is how you end up losing weight one week and gaining it back the next.  (Which, of course, leaves you mushier than ever- ugh!)

I don’t understand how a doctor can promote this  harmful practice.  Didn’t he take the Hippocratic Oath?  You know, the one that says first, doctor, Do No Harm?

Yes, he has to fill he shows with exciting stuff.  Sure, to get ratings and make the big bucks.  Does he know that he is adding to the problem of obesity?  Sweet, nice people who think Dr. Oz is king keep doing what he says- eating raspberry ketones one week, cleansing the next.  Is his audience getting thinner?

To be thin, you must behave thin.  Behaving thin or as I call it, building your Thin Mentality, is about reconnecting with your beautiful voice.  Does that sound sappy?  Yes it does a little, but I get so mad when people are told they need to be told what to eat because they can’t trust themselves.

The reason you can’t trust yourself is because you have restricted calories so many times.  Your body knows this!   Post diet, your body’s job is to store calories for your next diet.  But you can rebuild that trust and that voice.  It takes time.  It is not showy.    It wouldn’t make for an exciting promo for the Dr. Oz show.

When you start listening and reconnecting with your body and trusting yourself, you will have days like these:

Days when you eat a lot.  Days when you eat a little.  Days when you crave carbs.  Days when you crave protein.  Days when you need dessert before bed.  Days when you don’t eat until noon.  Days when you eat a big breakfast.  Days when you drink a lot of water.  Days when you sip coffee.

Why this variety?  Because every day is different.  When you spend a lot of energy, your body will ask for more food.  If you sweat a lot, you might crave salty food.  If you are sick, you might crave vitamin C.  This is not magic.  This is normal and we have been trained out of it!


Yesterday I was very sedentary.  I went out to dinner with my husband.  Without thinking about it, I ate very little.  When I was a dieter, this NEVER would have happened. I would have been tabulating every bite.  I would have made sure that ate my full calorie allotment for the day, and then some…Do you think I am special and you will never be this way?

You are wrong.

I am not special.  I had the worst diet mentality.  I threw away food because I was afraid I would eat it.  I did every diet in the book until I couldn’t do it anymore.  Desperation made me stop dieting.  I just couldn’t do it anymore.  I was willing to blow up.  And that pinnacle of defeat is what allowed me to see what I never saw.  Dieting was making me a slave to eating.

Now, I am in charge, I love food, and I am slim.

And you know what the best thing is?  I get messages every day from people who have been able to do the same thing.  I love hearing from people, by the way.

So Dr. Oz, I will email this blog to you.  I know you the chances are slim to none that you will read it.  But I am trying…


Don’t Let A Fat Doctor Tell You How To Lose Weight

fat doc

Where I live in Cincinnati, there is an ad playing on TV about a medical weight loss program.  You see vignettes of people dancing around happily holding up big pants they used to wear, and throwing away bottles of prescriptions that they used to need.

As I watch this I wonder if I am the only one noticing that the doctor himself is overweight?  Am I the only one noticing this extreme irony and thinking that he must have a lot of you know what to put himself out there as a weight loss doctor?

I think this is evidence of how desperate we are to believe that if we just find the right diet, we will get thin.  We want this so badly that we gloss over the images of the heavy doctor, and concentrate instead on the happy people celebrating their weight loss.

Isn’t this strange?  Would you go to a dermatologist who had skin cancers all over her face due to sun exposure without sunscreen?  Would you go to a hair stylist with damaged ratty hair?  Would you go to a dentist who didn’t brush his teeth??

Geez? Yet this doctor has no problem getting clients to over look his large belly and come join his weight loss program.  If it wasn’t so sad, it would be funny.

People!  If the doctor selling the weight loss program can’t do it himself, don’t you see a problem?

Stop listening to so called experts and start listening to your own body.  The wisdom in your body is invaluable.  And YOU are the only one who can pay attention to YOUR body’s signals to eat and to not eat.

Have a little faith in good ole Mother Nature.  I know it seems crazy to believe that your body knows when to tell you to eat- but think how normal it is.  And think how strange it actually is to eat according to some list of rules instead of paying attention to hunger and non hunger.  I mean, honestly, does someone tell you when to go to the bathroom??  Yea it would be weird.  That is a message from your body that we have not been trained to ignore!  Why not? I guess no one has figured out how to make money from giving you a “bathroom program” to follow!!

But, giving you an eating program, now that is a whole different story…  Lots of fortunes have been made there.

Okay, if I have  been able to make you see the light of WHY you should stop dieting, you need the HOW.

Here is the main principle:

Eat when you are hungry and delay eating more until hunger returns.

And in order to facilitate this:

Stay in the present- no deal making with the future, and pay attention to your body, not experts.

Making the transition from dieter to thin mentality person is the best gift you will ever give yourself.  It is worth the effort.  Peaceful. Joyful. Slimming.