Archive for: June, 2014

Response to Question About Bingeing

Here is my response to an email from someone who was feeling very down about having binged.  She wanted to know if it is possible to have a sugar addiction and how to handle that urge to binge.

Now of course I am not a doctor, and I don’t want anyone with diabetes or a true issue to go undiagnosed.  So please make sure your doc says you are ok.But here is what I realized about sugar and sugar addiction.When I was a dieter, I thought I had an issue with sugar.  You know why?  Because when I actually allowed myself to eat sugar, I would eat so much of it.  I would go a month without anything sweet and then eat a bunch of candy or whatever.  And then, of course I would feel awful, be unable to properly metabolize all of that sugar and “crash.”  I truly thought that I couldn’t eat sugar.

But…when I started to develop my thin mentality, I realized that if I ate normally, with normal intake of normal food that my normal body craved, I could handle sugar just fine.  People hoard food, like sugar, after periods of deprivation.

So…discontinue the deprivation!

And you know what?   I enjoy one “serving” of sweets now way more than I ever enjoyed a whole bag of snickers.  And the fact that I know I am allowed to eat what I crave, including desserts, has had another interesting effect.  Desserts have lost their power over me.  I can enjoy a very small amount and be completely satisfied.  I know that whenever I want cake, I can have it.  So, no big deal.

And don’t underestimate this next point:

When you give up diets, you have to believe, deep in your heart, that you will NEVER diet again.  Why?  Because if you think you might go on a diet, (for instance if this “thin mentality” thing doesn’t work) then you will sabotage yourself.  You will binge because you will think-  “I don’t know if this is going to work so I might as well binge because after all I can go on a diet again.”

This mentality will poison your efforts, I promise.

And then remember this.  You are trying to make a tremendous change.  Of course it is hard, and has ups and downs.  But remember that even if you “mess up,” as long as you take that as a learning experience, you are still getting closer to a thin mentality.

Yes, the thousands of calories that you ate while binging take you a step backward in your body getting thin.  Yes, of course, I understand that and I know how frustrated and sad that makes you.

But remember that the choice you WISH was there, IS NOT THERE

You don’t have the option of going on a diet and becoming a thin, “relaxed-around-food” person.  Please remember this NEVER works.  So you either say to yourself that you will yo-yo diet for the rest of your life, or you will stick with what you know is smarter:  learn how to behave and eat as a naturally thin person.

There is no reason in the world you cannot be that person. I don’t care how fat your family is.  I don’t care if you have been fat since you were three years old.

We are not designed to be fat.  You were not.  Say to yourself,

I am a naturally thin person but I have been taught that dieting will make me thin. Dieting has made me fatter.  I am going to reconnect with the body that I was born into.  I am the only one who can do this- connect to my body.  I will eat when I am hungry.  I will not fear food, I will see food as a pleasure that I deserve.  I will not fear hunger.  I know that I can eat whenever I am hungry.  And for all of this pleasure and guilt free eating, I will promise myself one thing:  I will wait for a hunger opportunity to eat.  Delay, not deny.

So don’t beat yourself up.  This is hard!  I don’t lie like the diet industry.  But hard doesn’t mean bad.  Hard means interesting, challenging, and worthwhile.


Thanks for emailing me to let me know how you are doing.  Stay with this. It is the only permanent solution and it is worth it.


A Showman, Not Your Doctor


Did you know this?

Last week, Capitol Hill Senators grilled the host for some of the weight loss products he has promoted on his talk show. Members of the Subcommittee on Consumer Protection, Product Safety and Insurance particularly took issue with his support of green coffee bean extract as a weight loss product, even though there is little scientific evidence of these pills’ effectiveness. One study even found that the beans caused diabetes symptoms in mice.

“The scientific community is almost monolithic against you in terms of the efficacy of the three products you called ‘miracles,’” said Subcommittee chair Claire McCaskill (D-Missouri). I don’t get why you need to say this stuff when you know it’s not true. When you have this amazing megaphone, why would you cheapen your show? … With power comes a great deal of responsibility.”

Here is why we want to trust him:

  1. Oprah introduced him to us
  2. He has a weekly talk show (so he must be right!????)
  3. He is a doctor so he wants to help us
  4. He doesn’t make overweight people feel bad- he “understands.”
  5. He has a big profile, so we tend to want to believe that what he says is true, and that many others agree with us.

But remember this, please:

  1. Oprah still struggles with her weight- if Dr. Oz had the answers, don’t you think she would too?
  2. He has to fill a lot of time and keep the energy and excitement high to keep his show popular.  So he must keep it “fresh” with the latest and greatest new medical “cure” for all that ails us, especially body fat- even if the evidence isn’t there.
  3. People have a lot of respect for doctors, even when they are wrong.  Their “scrubs” and lab coats have an effect on us..
  4. He is good at communicating sympathy and understanding of weight issues- so we want to believe him
  5. Just because someone is on TV a lot and has a platform to speak, doesn’t make them right.  It makes them good at selling products.

So as you try to figure out the way to keep healthy, get and stay at your ideal weight, and be stress free, please remember that your thin mentality will get you there quicker than following the guru of the day.

Your body is smart, deserves respect, and deserves to be listened to.  Creating a thin mentality is about reconnecting

  • eating with hunger
  • joy with food
  • your body with your ideal weight

Yes, you can do this.  Step one is to stop listening to the experts and start listening to that beautiful voice inside you.  ARE YOU HUNGRY?  And remember, if you aren’t hungry now and you want to be because you “want” to eat, don’t worry!!  Hunger is always just around the corner…  right?




Pancakes Do Not Make You Fat, Diets Do

leftover big boys

When you eat less, you lose weight.

But when you eat less on a diet, I think of it as  “hostile” weight loss.  It is not in harmony with your body, you and your body resent the hunger you feel, the restrictions, the lack of freedom.   So, your body eventually wins, and you gain it back (and more) and the cycle resumes… (look at your personal history…)

When you lose weight with your thin mentality I like to describe it as “amiable” weight loss.  Your thin mentality is harmonious, go with the flow, flexible, happy, peaceful, joyful.  You gently re learn to match how much you consume with your true hunger.  Weight loss is slow, yes, but it is a permanent change, and it doesn’t “hurt,” and you don’t count down the days until you are “done.”

Do you think you aren’t capable of this  because you ate a whole pizza when you went off your last diet?  NO! That does NOT mean you are a pig.  It means you were freaked out.  I used to eat so much after I was “through” with a diet that I thought I was one of those people who couldn’t be trusted around food.  NOT SO.  And believe me, I really really had bought into the lie that I needed to control my eating or I would gain 100 pounds.

So this picture I have here is the “leftovers” I took home last time I ate at Bob’s Big Boy.  This is about half of the total portion I was served (plus an egg which I ate.)  I know this is boring to recount what I ate, but I feel like many of you need to see this stuff too- which is so normal and understandable.

So, as a dieter if I had gone to this restaurant I would have finished it all, not knowing when I would allow myself to eat some delicious pancakes again. Not now.  Now I know when I crave ham and pancakes and an egg, I will enjoy.  So I don’t over load myself now, I enjoy every bite, with butter and syrup and wish I could explain it to the lady next to me who told me I was lucky to have a good metabolism.

It is not a good metabolism that keeps me thin, it is a happy, healthy,normal relationship with food and eating.  So so few people have this these days, but I am here to help you get that normalcy back.