Archive for: January, 2014

Leave MJ Alone Mike!!


I was watching a reality show- OK, I am not proud of that, but oh well.   The girl “MJ” on the show- Shahs of Sunset is really pretty but her friends tell her she is too heavy.  And there was a fight because a guy on the show- Mike- told her that she shouldn’t order a chocolate croissant.

Now I have no idea if this was even a real conversation, but assuming it was, I wanted to jump in to the TV and take her by the hand and explain how a thin mentality works.  She looked hurt by his comment and I bet she was- or she is a good actor.

I imagine that this kind of scene happens MILLIONS of times a day across the world.  Someone is told not to eat something cause they are “chubby.”

But they have it all wrong!

When you put something off limits, it gives it power.  When I was a dieter, I put lots of things off limits. So of course I obsessed about them.

Now, with my thin mentality, a chocolate croissant is just a food.  If I eat one, I am not “bad.”  And if I resist one I am not “good.” Again, it is just a food.

Behaving like a thin person instead of a dieter means that if you are craving something and you are hungry, you eat it!  And it also means that if you are offered food but you are NOT HUNGRY, you wouldn’t dream of eating it.  It would be like scratching your arm when it didn’t itch-  why would you??

The life of a dieter is rigid, confining and depressing and perverts your relationship with food, eating and your body.

The life of a thin mentality person can be great or awful- but it doesn’t depend on food!!  The thin mentality person is free from food obsession, has connected eating with hunger, and is free to enjoy a life in harmony with their body and biological drive to eat.  Whew!!

Tell Mike to leave MJ alone!!


Dear Dieter Introduction To Diets Are Fattening


meWhen I was a dieter, eating was never fun.   

At a cookout, I would look at the hamburgers and hotdogs, not with happy anticipation, but with angst.   “Okay, what here can I eat that won’t blow my diet.”

Or, if I was on a break from dieting my mindset would be the complete opposite, “Well I am going to diet Monday so I am not eating just a hamburger, I am eating a cheeseburger, and all the sides, and dessert too.”

It didn’t occur to me to look at the food, take it all in, and decide what would be the best, most satisfying choice for me, in that moment.  I never even asked myself if I was hungry.  I was at a cookout, so I was supposed to eat.

Does this sound familiar?

When I finally figured out that this was not how I wanted to live anymore (after 25 years of dieting) everything changed.

I began to see food differently, and more importantly, I began to see myself differently too.

I realized that ironically, all my good efforts at dieting kept me so focused on food, that I got stuck in a world where hunger was no longer respected as a cue to eat.  I thought that I was a big eater and would always want more food .  And, I ate based on what the latest diet book I was reading told me.

I am sad when I look back at this. What a waste of….me!

But I am happy to say that it is within your grasp to change this.  I didn’t think I could.  But happily, I was wrong.  I realized that dieting had fundamentally changed me.  It had robbed me of my own body’s voice.

Luckily, we are strong and resilient.  As soon as I started trying to “hear” my voice again, it responding by getting louder and louder.

Let me help you make this transition too.  It is life changing and, I always like to say, is the best present you will ever give yourself.

Remember, whether you are at a cookout, birthday party, or any celebration that involves eating, make sure you ask yourself the big question first:  am I hungry?

And if you are not hungry, you are betraying yourself by eating something your body is NOT asking you to provide.

If that sounds like it would take a lot of “willpower” (a true diet mentality word) let me assure you that it is easy to turn down food when you are not hungry if you know that when you ARE hungry you can eat whatever you are craving.

You may find that hard to believe.

I understand, I used to think that.

But your skepticism that you could happily turn down food has been bred by your diet mentality.  You feel like food has power over you.  You “can’t” resist!

When you ditch your diet mentality and develop your thin mentality you will realize “resisting” has nothing to do with it.  Eating when you are not hungry is not enjoyable, no matter what the food.  Eating when you are hungry is fantastic.  So why would you eat that great looking cookie when you are not hungry.  It would be okay, but if you wait until you are hungry, it will be amazing.  But remember, when you are hungry, you may not want that cookie!  You may want meat and potatoes– whatever!

Give yourself a chance to reconnect with your body’s inner voice, the one that says “I’m hungry, I’m not hungry, I need some protein, I need something green and crunchy, I need a big glass of water, I need a dense calorie food.”

We are supposed to love eating and we are supposed to crave different kinds of foods everyday.

My diet mentality crippled my ability to do either.  My thin mentality has set me free.  You can do this too.


Boredom Eating? A Thin Mentality Perspective



If you are bored and feel like you want to eat to make yourself less bored try this.

Say to yourself, “I have some time on my hands.  I am going to take this time to make myself something really great to eat.  Maybe I will even go to the store and get unusual ingredients.  Then I am going to take my time  and really enjoy preparing it.  And then, I will wait until I am hungry (By the time you do all that, you probably will be)  and I will enjoy it thoroughly.”

Do you see how different that is?  This is a Joyful way to approach this.

You are “owning” that you are going to make a bid deal out of eating because you are bored.  Fine!  Make something special.  Prepare a tricky soufflé or whatever.  That is a nice way to spend some time.

But the actually eating of it occurs WHEN hunger comes.  And remember- that is not a big restriction!  You experience hunger several times a day on average, right?  You may not even know this because you haven’t heard your voice for a long time (because you ignore your voice now) but trust me, hunger will talk to you when you start listening.

And hunger really is always just around the corner…

I think popcorn is a big culprit in teaching people to use eating as an “activity.”    At least it was for me.  Do you remember those air pop popcorn makers-  No oil or anything needed.  It was awful- like eating styrofoam.  But I made popcorn that way and ate it because it allowed me to eat and eat and chew and chew.  I didn’t realize how that was interfering with my linking hunger to eating.

So- next time you are bored and feel like chowing down- remember, you can enjoy preparing something really great when you are bored- make it fantastic and WAIT for hunger.  It will be spectacular!


Your Healthy Thin Mentality Helps PMS too

Desperate housewife.

Yes, PMS used to mess up my eating too.  Just learn what helps you- take care of yourself.  Rigid dieting only makes it worse.  A healthy thin mentality will get you through.  (When you crave some chocolate eat it, with pleasure, not guilt. Your body is smart.  There is research that women really do benefit from chocolate during pms!)