Archive for: October, 2014

“How Much Food Do I Need?”

how much food

As you begin to replace your diet mentality with a thin mentality you will undoubtedly ask yourself, “how much food do I need?”   I have to tell you that, for most of us, the the answer is, “not as much as you think.”

Does that worry you?

That is because you are imagining going hungry.

But learning to behave like a thin person instead of a dieter does not mean tolerating hunger.  It means that whenever you are hungry, you eat what you crave until you are no longer hungry.

No, you will not be good at this at first, but give yourself a chance!  As you pay attention to your body’s voice, you will tap into your hunger signals and learn how much to eat and when.

As you make this adjustment you will realize the simple beauty of this.  And, eating without hunger will start to seem strange to you. “Why would I eat when I am not hungry?”  And you will no longer “pig out” or “binge” because there is zero motivation to do so when you can always eat what you crave when you are hungry

When I was a dieter I was completely disconnected from my hunger.  I had no idea how much to eat or when.  I followed some rule book or diet instead of listening to my own body.  And dieting taught me to fear hunger because as a dieter, I was taught to eat without regard to my own body’s signals.  And hunger would wreak havoc on me!  I would not be able to concentrate, I would be in a bad mood, and I would eventually succumb to my hunger and eat foods I didn’t even like.  And then I would feel so awful, I would just eat more.  And then the next day, or the next week or month or whatever, the cycle would start again.  And I would always blame myself.

But that is because the powerful messaging from the diet industry told me that I should eat without regard to my own body’s voice. I was at war with my own body and with my own hunger for food!

But when I ditched my diet mentality, 14 years ago,  I realized that I my hunger is a supreme gift.  It makes everything taste better. It guides me.  It rewards me.  I can trust my hunger, and I can trust my non-hunger.  Both are good.  There is no more war.  I am at peace and my body is a reflection of that.

You can get to where I am.  You can have a peaceful, joyful relationship with food.  And you can be at your ideal weight.  Yes.

Step one is to stop dieting and reacquaint yourself with the wisdom of your own body by listening.  Your body’s voice is very quiet at first, because you have ignored it for so long.  But as you listen, it will strengthen and will start guiding you.

My book explains more, and I have written tons of blogs to help you do this.  I am still working on the workbook to help you with this as well.

Please feel free to post questions here or on FaceBook- Diets are fattening!




Your Mother Might Be Wrong


No one taught me how to eat normally.  I was taught to diet.

I had four “mothers,” and all were die-hard dieters:  My mother, my step mother, my mother-in-law and my step mother-in-law.

How was I supposed to know what normal eating was when the examples I saw from the important women in my life were all dieting all the time?

Is this how it is for you?  Does your mother tell you not to eat sugar.  Does your big sister tell you the only way to lose weight is to count calories?  Does the TV yell at you all day to go on Weight Watchers? or Nutrisystem?

No wonder we are all so messed up when it comes to eating.  We have destroyed our relationship with food and we wonder why we are heavy.

So, as you look around at your life and all the dieting you see- all the celebrity magazines saying ridiculous statements like “Jennifer Aniston loses 10 pounds in 10 days,” remember that just because an idea is popular doesn’t make it right.

Diets do not work.  Dieting makes you a dieter, not a thin person.  And being thin and being a dieter are completely different.  It is worth taking the time to rebel against your diet mentality, that your parents, teachers, TV and friends tell you works.  You know it doesn’t.  Look at your own history.

Get thin and happy by understanding that the answer is to reject dieting and reconnect eating with hunger.  It is so simple.  Wisdom usually is.

Remember, you never have to deny your hunger.  But you must get out of the habit of eating for other reasons.  This habit IS breakable because it works WITH your body, not against it.  So don’t despair.  Take it one day at a time.  AM I HUNGRY?  If not, remember that a delicious opportunity to eat comes around several times a day.   No reason to pout about that.  You can eat whenever your body gives you the okay.

That is what normal eating is.  And that will get your body to its normal weight as well.


To Get Thin, Behave Thin- I Hope this Obesity Expert From Yale Reads This…



“Kelly David Brownell (born 1951) is an American scientist, professor, and internationally renowned expert on obesity-”


Does that leave you a little perplexed?

Why would I take advice on obesity from someone who is obese?  Is that harsh?

Maybe he will discover some magic pill that will solve obesity.  Great.

But until then,  my dear diet-weary friends, let’s try some good old fashioned common sense.

Reconnect eating with hunger.

If you can do that (and you can) you will free yourself from food obsession.  And food obsession is what leads to the bingeing, especially post diet, that causes rapid weight gain.

Do we need to go over this again?  When you diet, you completely alter your relationship with food.  You eat things you don’t even like, when you are not hungry.  And, then you don’t eat anything when you ARE hungry.

This may sound innocuous, but it isn’t.  Your instinct to survive is primal and when you mess with your caloric intake you are messing with a fundamental part of survival, right?

So don’t take what dieting does to your body lightly.

Instead, re-learn how to eat normally, in response to normal hunger cues.   The result:  A healthy weight and a normal relationship with food.  And this is so important to your health and happiness.

I am still working on a new workbook to help in the day to day transformation from a diet mentality to a thin mentality.  I know you need help to do this.  Until then, keep in touch with my blog and Facebook posts, twitter etc.  I am pulling for you!!



You don’t need me to tell you this!  Look at your own history.



Work with, Not Against, Mother Nature


One of the most enduring diet myths is that you can “replace” a high calorie item with a low calorie item and “save” calories and your body will not know the difference.

But as the saying goes, “You can’t fool Mother Nature…”

If you eat less in an effort to save calories, you do save them temporarily, but the effect of that lower calorie meal is that you will need more food later.  Doesn’t that make sense to you?

So instead of substituting a non fat, fake-sugar yogurt for the yogurt or food you really like, just eat the food you really crave, when you are hungry.   And as you eat it, truly enjoy it, without guilt or telling yourself you “should” be eating something else.

The diet industry has created that list of “shoulds” for you, and they make TONS of money making you believe their list is more important than the signals you get from your own body.  Do you let some company tell you when to go to the bathroom?  No you rely on your body.

The thin mentality person is different.

She or he knows that eating what your body craves is healthy, smart and slimming.  And your body will surprise you with how many variable and wonderful foods it will crave- including really healthful stuff.  It will be far more satisfying to you, and help you calm down your food and eating/not eating obsession.

And how do you lose weight doing this?

Well once you understand that you can’t fool your body, you will start trusting your  body instead.  And the weight loss comes when you successfully match eating and hunger.  When you eat when you are hungry and stop when hunger is quiet, you will be eating appropriately for YOU.  And if you are doing this and not losing weight, try paying more attention to the “enough” signal.

And remember, you are the only one who can listen to your body.  If you don’t, no one will!  And wouldn’t that be sad?  If your fantastic, smart body went ignored for your whole life?

But the bottom line is this:  (I don’t mind telling you the truth)  We need less food than we think… But when you can eat whenever you are hungry, you will be fine.   Dieting through vicious hunger pangs is what makes you sad and obsessed.

And you will realize that eating past hunger is just a habit.  You can break that habit easily because you will be working with your body, not against it.  (Why do you think you feel so awful and bloated when you overeat?- Good ole Mother Nature is trying to tell you something!!  Even if what you ate was a bowl of veggies- don’t overload your stomach!)

Value your hunger.  Value your voice.  Have a great day.



Eating A Huge Salad Teaches You To Ignore Satiety

huge salad

I used to woof down huge salads when I was a dieter.  Oh sure, they had vegetables and I was careful with the dressing etc.  So yes, they were ever so “healthful.”

But, since this was all I was “allowed” to eat, plus maybe a little plain chicken and a diet jello, I made darn sure I ate every last bite. Does this sound familiar?  Do you know what this teaches you?  It teaches you to ignore your stomach that is bloated with broccoli and cauliflower, and instead eat because of the future- as in – you are not allowed to eat later so stock up now.

This is absolutely backwards.

Overloading your stomach is never a good idea.  Right? Does it feel good?  No!  So listen to your body telling you to stop.  Again, even if you know what you are eating is nutritious.

Instead, train yourself to eat until you aren’t hungry anymore.  Eat until you are in the happy state of being satisfied but still feeling good and breathing normally for goodness sake!!

Remember, eating past satiety is a habit – that you can break.  Don’t be afraid!  It is not eating when you ARE hungry that is hard.  When you learn that any ole time your body asks for food you can eat, you will no longer fear hunger and your diet mentality will fade away.  YEA!


Thin Mentality Quiz Question Explained


I hope your thin mentality is coming along!  Here is the second answer to the thin mentality quiz explained.

Here was the question:

2.  If you are eating something and you realize it is not “hitting the spot,” what is the Thin Mentality thing to do?

  • a.  Just eat it anyway, another meal is around the corner
  • b. Stop eating it and if at all possible, get something that does hit the spot.
  • c. Stop eating it and just stay hungry.

The answer is B.

Here is why:

Anytime you don’t take care of your hunger with respect to what your body is asking for, you undermine your progress toward establishing a thin mentality.

Remember, food for thin mentality people is a joy, not  a punishment, and what you eat is based on you, not a book, a diet list, or Dr. Oz.   And I need to remind you that you will crave nutritious food as well as cake.  That is life, that is normal, that is good.

So establish the habit of being very picky and respectful of what your body is telling you.

For example,  if I get up late and am meeting someone for a meal and they want to go to lunch because it is already 11:30, I try to find a place that has breakfast food too.  Because, for example on weekends, if I  got up at 9:30 and just had some coffee, I am not in the mood for lunch at 11:30.  I am in the mood for breakfast.  And being “in the mood” for a food counts as important!  It is part of the joy of eating.

And I respect my moods and I believe that my body has important messages for me.  Maybe I crave breakfast because breakfast food is generally sweeter, for me, and I need that sweetness and calories to start my day.   I just know that if I say yes to eating lunch when I want breakfast, I will start my day on a less than fantastic food note.

No, it is not always possible to take care of your hunger like this.  Life gets in the way.  But, in general, if you value what you crave and try to respect that craving, your thin mentality will take off.

Of course the flip side of this fantastic freedom and joy is that you must also establish the habit of STOPPING when hunger is quiet.  Of course this is respecting your body’s voice as well.

But when you CAN eat whenever you are hungry, you will begin to see that the pleasure of eating without hunger pales in comparison.  Just say to yourself, yes I can have more food whenever my body gives me a signal to eat.

So the next time you want an omlette and hash browns and you are at a burger joint, remember it is worth it to wait (unless you are in stage 3 hunger) to get what you truly want.  I have absolutely done that– been at a restaurant and just had coffee, left my friends and gone and had the breakfast I was craving.  No not always possible, but when it is, you feel calm, taken care of and your thin mentality strengthens.

Value your hunger.  Value your cravings. Respect your body’s voice.

Have a great evening.





Thin Mentality Quiz Answers Explained

cake best 500

The first question of the thin mentality quiz that I put out Wednesday Aug 21 2014 was:

As a thin mentality person you wait until you are really, really hungry, and you can’t think of anything else before you eat.  True or False

The correct answer was false.

If you are wondering why, let me explain:

The fundamental premise of living with a thin mentality is using common sense.  It is NOT common sense to let yourself get miserably hungry.  (And I feel I have to interject here that we need to remember how lucky we are that food is abundant.  It is not a “curse” as some diets would make you believe, it is a gift)

So why isn’t it wise to let yourself get so hungry you can’t think of anything else?  Because if you get to that point, which I call stage 3 hunger, you are no longer in the happy zone where you can calmly enjoy some food that you are craving.  You feel desperate and you end up behaving desperately.  You just grab any old stale cracker, you throw back some chips that you don’t even like.  Your eating experience isn’t pleasant.  Yes you are over hungry.

Stage two is the stage to eat.  The markers of this stage:

1.  You start to have some specific thoughts about what would be good to eat,

2.  When you think of eating you salivate

3.  You are distracted from your day by your hunger.

But remember we all must take the time and effort to learn about our hunger and how it manifests.  Remember, we are all different, so this will vary too.   These are mine.

But the idea here is your thin mentality is about taking care of your hunger happily, and with an eye toward joy and satisfaction, not deprivation and angst.  And of course, when hunger is calm and quiet, stop eating.  Why?  because feeding yourself beyond hunger is a huge betrayal of your body’s voice.  Don’t do that to yourself.  The reward?  A body that you love, and a joyful relationship with food.

It would seem so odd to our ancestors that we make such a misery out of eating.  Well I did!  Do you?  I used to lament over choices and buy foods I didn’t love so I wouldn’t over eat and sometimes eat something because I knew the calories and I could track my day better-  what craziness!

14 years into my Thin Mentality and I desperately want to share this focus with you.  I know how much misery a diet mentality yields.  You can get your thin mentality back, the normal healthy attitude toward food that you were born with.  Yes You CAn  You just need a cheerleader.  And I am here.

Get normal!  Get healthy- and I am talking mentally too-  think how much food stress impacts your mental health- ugh!!

The next question on the quiz will be explained tomorrow!!

Have a great weekend.


Thin Mentality Quiz

testIf you have been trying to build a thin mentality, take this quiz and see how you are doing- five quick questions!

1.  As a thin mentality person you wait until you are really, really hungry, and you can’t think of anything else before you eat.

 True or False

2.  If you are eating something and you realize it is not “hitting the spot,” what is the Thin Mentality thing to do?

  • a.  Just eat it anyway, another meal is around the corner
  • b. Stop eating it and if at all possible, get something that does hit the spot.
  • c. Stop eating it and just stay hungry.

3.  If you are worried that you won’t  be able to eat later when you are hungry, what is the thin mentality thing to do?

  • a.  Realize that it would be smart to pack a little something to take the edge off your hunger until you can get something that you really want and need for your next meal
  • b. Just realize that sometimes you must suffer.
  • c.  Avoid this siutation

4.  Whenever possible, try to convince others who are on a diet and losing weight that they should stop.

True or False

5.  If you want french fries, try having a baked potato first to see if that satisfies you.

True or False

Scroll down for answers



Answers:  FBAFF How did you do?  Question?  Scroll down and use the comment board and I will answer!


Over Fortified Cereal- Example of Over Focus on Nutrition instead of Amount of Food


Of course nutrition is important.  It is just that we value nutrition above an equally important concept: Eating appropriate amounts of food.

I wasn’t surprised to hear of a growing concern that kids are getting too much of certain vitamins from fortified cereals:

We would be so much better off teaching our kids to eat appropriate amounts of food by modeling what I call “thin mentality” behavior instead of pushing food that we believe is healthful, only to accidentally overload them with dangerous amounts of vitamins.

Thin mentality behavior respects hunger, cravings and, of course, satiety.  The benefits of learning how to eat this way are manifold and include:

  1. Lower stress:  Weight concerns cause an incredible amount of stress.
  2. Stabilized weight: Your thin mentality will guide you to your ideal weight range and you will stay there.  No more yo-yo weight loss/gain.
  3. Increased joy: Reconnecting with the joy of eating and the incredible gift of food makes life so much happier. When you fear food and have a perverted relationship with eating, you lose that!
  4. Self image improvement:  Your thin mentality will help you to respect and appreciate your body.  And you will work with Mother Nature, not against her,  as you get to your ideal weight range.

So, don’t waste any more time trying to eat perfectly.  Learn to eat responsively instead.  And your body will start guiding you as soon as you start to listen.  I promise, your voice is there.  She is just whispering because you have ignored her for so long.






Response to Question About Bingeing

Here is my response to an email from someone who was feeling very down about having binged.  She wanted to know if it is possible to have a sugar addiction and how to handle that urge to binge.

Now of course I am not a doctor, and I don’t want anyone with diabetes or a true issue to go undiagnosed.  So please make sure your doc says you are ok.But here is what I realized about sugar and sugar addiction.When I was a dieter, I thought I had an issue with sugar.  You know why?  Because when I actually allowed myself to eat sugar, I would eat so much of it.  I would go a month without anything sweet and then eat a bunch of candy or whatever.  And then, of course I would feel awful, be unable to properly metabolize all of that sugar and “crash.”  I truly thought that I couldn’t eat sugar.

But…when I started to develop my thin mentality, I realized that if I ate normally, with normal intake of normal food that my normal body craved, I could handle sugar just fine.  People hoard food, like sugar, after periods of deprivation.

So…discontinue the deprivation!

And you know what?   I enjoy one “serving” of sweets now way more than I ever enjoyed a whole bag of snickers.  And the fact that I know I am allowed to eat what I crave, including desserts, has had another interesting effect.  Desserts have lost their power over me.  I can enjoy a very small amount and be completely satisfied.  I know that whenever I want cake, I can have it.  So, no big deal.

And don’t underestimate this next point:

When you give up diets, you have to believe, deep in your heart, that you will NEVER diet again.  Why?  Because if you think you might go on a diet, (for instance if this “thin mentality” thing doesn’t work) then you will sabotage yourself.  You will binge because you will think-  “I don’t know if this is going to work so I might as well binge because after all I can go on a diet again.”

This mentality will poison your efforts, I promise.

And then remember this.  You are trying to make a tremendous change.  Of course it is hard, and has ups and downs.  But remember that even if you “mess up,” as long as you take that as a learning experience, you are still getting closer to a thin mentality.

Yes, the thousands of calories that you ate while binging take you a step backward in your body getting thin.  Yes, of course, I understand that and I know how frustrated and sad that makes you.

But remember that the choice you WISH was there, IS NOT THERE

You don’t have the option of going on a diet and becoming a thin, “relaxed-around-food” person.  Please remember this NEVER works.  So you either say to yourself that you will yo-yo diet for the rest of your life, or you will stick with what you know is smarter:  learn how to behave and eat as a naturally thin person.

There is no reason in the world you cannot be that person. I don’t care how fat your family is.  I don’t care if you have been fat since you were three years old.

We are not designed to be fat.  You were not.  Say to yourself,

I am a naturally thin person but I have been taught that dieting will make me thin. Dieting has made me fatter.  I am going to reconnect with the body that I was born into.  I am the only one who can do this- connect to my body.  I will eat when I am hungry.  I will not fear food, I will see food as a pleasure that I deserve.  I will not fear hunger.  I know that I can eat whenever I am hungry.  And for all of this pleasure and guilt free eating, I will promise myself one thing:  I will wait for a hunger opportunity to eat.  Delay, not deny.

So don’t beat yourself up.  This is hard!  I don’t lie like the diet industry.  But hard doesn’t mean bad.  Hard means interesting, challenging, and worthwhile.


Thanks for emailing me to let me know how you are doing.  Stay with this. It is the only permanent solution and it is worth it.