Archive for: December, 2013

Thin Mentality and Emotional Eating


I know that many people feel frustrated and say to themselves, “I am an emotional eater, I eat to comfort myself etc, so I could never have a thin mentality.”

Instead of berating yourself for comforting yourself with food, say to yourself, as soon as I am hungry, I can comfort myself with food.   Do you see the difference?

I eat food to take care of myself, comfort myself, nourish myself, warm myself, all the time!  When I am hungry!  That is the way it is supposed to be.  I prepare myself something I like or buy something extra special or “expensive,”  if I am having a bad day in some way.  I use my next hunger opportunity to “eat emotionally.”

So, stop thinking that you have to disconnect eating from that nice cozy feeling of providing your body with some lovely food.  Naturally thin people love food too, and for example, may say to themselves, “This has been a really lousy day at work, I am going to go out for a nice dinner and glass of wine.”  There is nothing wrong with that.

It is a problem, however, when you do this without respect for your hunger.  And remember, hunger is right around the corner.  You will be hungry several times every day.  So no pouting about not eating RIGHT NOW.  Just calm down and wait a little little bit!  That food you want to enjoy will be more satisfying, and you will feel happy that you waited.

You are re-training yourself, remember!  So even if you just delay eating a little while, that is still progress.  And while you are eating, just keep asking yourself, “could I be done for now?”  That “for now” part is important so that you really remember that just because you are going to stop eating at that moment, another eating opportunity will arrive really soon!

So, I say, understand that nurturing yourself with food may feel like emotional eating.  But as long as you wait for hunger, it is just taking care of yourself.  And if you say- well I can’t wait for hunger-  just give yourself a chance.  You may believe that now, but I bet, if you give yourself a chance, your body will discover that it will enjoy food more, and that you will feel happier and more comforted by food, if you practice delaying a little bit, each day, until you are truly hungry. You won’t do it all the time at first.  But do it once.  Then, see if you can do it again.  I bet you can.


Can’t Decide What To Eat?

stock-footage-black-woman-looking-in-refrigeratorWhen you look in the fridge, or cabinet, or pantry, or on the menu, and you can’t decide what to eat, guess what?   You probably aren’t hungry.

But relax!  That doesn’t mean you have a long day or night of “diet style denial” in front of you!

That just means that you should wait until your hunger comes alive enough to give you a real appetite for something.

Over time, you will learn that it is no big deal to postpone eating until you are truly hungry.

You are just in a habit of, for example, eating breakfast before you leave your house.    But if you aren’t sure what you want, your body is trying to tell you something.  It has no appetite for anything.

But again, guess what?  Very soon, you will. And your eating experience will be far more enjoyable and satisfactory because you waited for your body to provide you with an appetite.

There is no pain in turning down food when you have no appetite.  Dieters turn down food when they are hungry.  And that is why they fail to keep weight off.  They aren’t working with their bodies, they are working against them

And the way to be thin forever is to build harmony between you and body.   Eat when you actually have an appetite for something!  No big deal.


It isn’t “Fun” versus “Nutrition”


We would have more fun, eat more healthfully, and be thinner if we reconnected with our thin mentalities.

Frequently, over concern about nutrition gets in the way, because we don’t believe that we can be trusted to know what to eat.  So we have made such drudgery out of it!  We count calories, food groups, measure our portions.  Ugh!

If this is how you want to spend your time, money and energy- have at it!  But with a thin mentality, you will be able to RELAX, and be thin and healthy.

You will find that:

  • Your body leads you to all kinds of foods and good nutrition depending on what you need on any given day.
  • Your food preferences will CHANGE in the absence of food rules-  LOVE Cheetos? I thought I did.  I very occasionally eat some,  but now that I am free, those little orange puff balls have lost a little of their magic.  (Still good, but just a few will do!)
  • When food has no power over you, you feel powerful.   This leads to all sorts wonderful side effects including happiness and improved self esteem and optimism.
  • You will have more time and energy for other more important and fulfilling endeavors- Career? Children?  Cleaning?  Music?  Whatever, you choose!

So, yes nutrition is important. But instead of force feeding it, let your body lead you to it.  The reason you think you are inept  in this area is because you see diet messaging everywhere you look that keeps reinforcing that you can’t be trusted to know what to eat.

I am telling you that you can.  This is normal.  What CANNOT be trusted is the messages from the diet industry.

Of course Mother Nature made us capable of knowing what, when and how much to eat.  That is normal.
Check in frequently with this idea because you are bombarded with the opposite message from the good ole diet industry every single day of your life!


Do You Want to Be Thin or A Dieter?



Dieters deny themselves cake for weeks or months and then crack and binge on it.

With your Thin Mentality, you have the power, the cake doesn’t have power over you…

Dieting is:

  • Rigid rules
  • Ignoring your body
  • Joyless eating
  • Feeling victimized by circumstances

A thin mentality is:

  • No rules
  • Listening to your body
  • Extremely joyful eating
  • Feeling completely powerful around food


AT 11 PM, she gets up and looks in the fridge.  She knows that she shouldn’t eat anymore, because she has already had all her “points” today.    To make herself feel full, she pours a huge glass of water and drinks it.  Then, she goes up to bed feeling kind of sad and empty and hoping that she can sleep.

It is 11 PM and she notices that the hunger pangs she felt an hour ago aren’t going away and that she really needs to eat something before bed.  She goes into the kitchen and looks for something warm and cheesy.  She doesn’t know why she is craving that and she doesn’t care.  She trusts herself, and knows that if she eats when she is hungry, she is eating with respect for her body.  She makes a delicious cheese toast.  Feeling very pleased that she has the food she likes in her fridge, and that she can take care of her hunger, she takes her bedtime snack up to her room and eats it happily.  She is relaxed, feels lucky, and anticipates a nice night’s sleep.

Yes, the dieter in this example may be lighter the next morning because she has forgone food.  But over time, ignoring your body will backfire on you.  Eating when you are hungry, as the thin mentality person does, will never make you fat.  And when you respect your hunger, and non hunger, you will normalize your relationship with food and begin to understand this:

What got you fat or heavier than you want to be, wasn’t eating a snack when you were hungry, it was eating when you WEREN’T hungry.  And remember, all food, even organic, highly nutritious food, will make you fat if you aren’t hungry when you eat it.  






Dr. Oz and the Apple Test


Dr. Oz had “expert” on his show to tell you how you know when you are hungry.

She said that if you don’t know whether or not you are hungry, test yourself with an apple.  If you don’t want the apple, then you aren’t hungry.

Okay, I just know that wouldn’t work for me.  When I am hungry, I am not just “hungry.”  I am hungry FOR something specific.  It is extremely variable, and I believe reflects my activity level. have For example if I worked out and perspired a lot, I probably crave salty food.  Just an example, whatever.

If I tested myself with that apple, it would make me feel bad.  Okay, I don’t want that apple.  So I am not hungry?  NO!  I am not hungry for an apple.  I need a big hunk of cheese.  Or I want a cold pickle.  Or I need a bowl of cereal with milk and bananas.  Whatever.

If I waited until I wanted that apple, I would be in what I call stage 3 hunger, where I am really really hungry, and I lose my ability to be picky and select food that I want.  (An example in my book is when I get to a restaurant and I am in stage 3 hunger so I just eat some bread I don’t even like because I am that hungry)  That is not a good place to be.

Stage 2 hunger is where you are distracted from your life by your hunger, but you aren’t desperate to eat (an apple for example!)

So, my advice to you is that you should get better at really listening to your body and not “threaten” it with a apple you don’t want.  That creates mistrust between your body and you.  It smells of a diet mentality.

I know why this doctor is saying this, however.  She says she does the apple test for herself many times every day.  Oh come on, now, that is no fun!!

She doesn’t trust her own body to steer her to nutritious food.  But think about it.  Your body wants to be able to repair cell damage, grow lustrous hair, have good energy.

When all threats of unwanted apples and diets are gone, the wisdom of your body will emerge!

No get quiet and listen…


Leaving food behind is easier than you think

pocket_of_persia_biteOne of the biggest difference between eating like a dieter, and eating like a thin person is how you deal with the amount of food on your plate.

I understand completely if you doubt that you will ever be comfortable or happy leaving food on your plate.  I thought that.  Back when I was a dieter, I never left a morsel behind.  If I could have seen me now, I would have been completely surprised.

Please give yourself a chance to be surprised too.

And also, give it a bit of time– think of all the adjustments you are making.

First, you have to adjust to the idea that you can eat whatever you are craving in that moment.   That is a huge adjustment.  You are used to ordering yogurt and granola when you wanted a steak sub or a snickers bar.  Or you are used to eating spinach when you wanted grapes.  Or you are used to eating chicken when you wanted shrimp and cocktail sauce- whatever.

You are also  used to thinking that if it is a “free” food, like raw vegetables with no dressing, that you can and should eat a ton- even overloading your stomach.  Again, also a bad idea.  (It is NEVER good to overload your stomach- it reinforces a bad habit of ignoring your satiety signal.)

And, you are used to eating a “treat” on a pre-planned schedule.  For instance, you are used to diet strategies like, “I will eat dessert on Saturday night.”  Then Saturday night comes, and whether you want dessert, or you would really prefer more bread or spinach souffle, you eat the dessert.

Another example of eating according to some schedule, and completely ignoring what your body is asking for in that moment.

So, all of this diet mentality eating ends up disabling you.  You see your plate of food, and you eat it all, no matter what- hungry or not.

That is not how thin people eat.

Get rid of that diet mentality and all of the sudden that plate of food in front of you is just a plate of suggestions.  You can eat all the bread and all the vegetables and leave the meat.  You can eat all the meat and that is it.  You can leave the whole thing because it isn’t what you want, or because you are NOT hungry.  You can eat all the potatoes with butter and have seconds of that and nothing else.  You are free.

And when you are free, everything is different.  You aren’t eating because “this is it” for the day. You aren’t eating because, “I may as well, I am dieting tomorrow.”  You aren’t eating because it is “there.”

Get picky, guys!  I know it sounds weird, but turning down food is sometimes as good as eating it.  You will see what I mean, over time.

It is not because I enjoy turning down food.  It is because I value responding to my own hunger on my own terms, and no one is going to get me to eat, or not eat.  It is powerful.  Silly sounding, especially to generations before me.  (Why is that powerful?)  Well, it is because I feel powerful and smart everyday by bucking the diet industry rules.  I refuse to be led like a sheep.  And I want that for you too.

Again, this doesn’t happen right away.  Give yourself a chance to grow into this.

As you are training yourself to be free, just follow that one rule: eat only when you are hungry.

Let me know how you are doing!!!