Archive for: July, 2013

My Response to Email Re “Slip Ups”

mistakeDear D,

So glad you like the book.

Yes, Of course I had slip ups.  And of course, so will you.

You are so right the key is how you handle the slip ups!

When you realize you are eating even though you are not hungry try this:

Step 1

Recognize what you are doing:

“I am eating even though I am not hungry.  I am putting food into my body that my body is not asking for.  It is enjoyable.  But not as enjoyable as eating when I am hungry, and I am trying to learn how to eat like a thin person, and I know this isn’t right.”

Step 2

Delay eating whatever food you are “struggling with” for just a few minutes

Could I just put this down for ten minutes and see how I feel?  Could I just delay eating this for those few minutes?”

Put it in the fridge, or in a baggie or whatever.  Let ten minutes go by.  See how you feel

Step 3

Give yourself permission to eat it when you are hungry.

No matter what the food– candy, muffin, hamburger, chopped salad- you MAY eat it as soon as your body says you are hungry.  And people who are overweight are ALLOWED to be hungry!

If you are still really having a hard time saying no to it even though you are not hungry have a little bit more and then try putting it down again.

While you are doing this say to yourself that every minute you DELAY eating it, is a step closer to eating when you are actually hungry.

That delaying of eating,  NOT the denial of food, is the crux of a thin mentality.  So every minute you can wait is going to build the strength of your thin mentality.  

You will get better and better at delaying gratification until you are hungry.  You will get comfortable with it, it won’t feel like punishment.  It will feel like you are finally eating as Mother Nature wanted you to eat..

Give you body a chance to show you how happy it is eating in harmony with your natural instincts to eat and NOT eat!

And yes, diets have taught us that if we start a binge, we might as well finish it.

NO!  Eating one extra brownie isn’t great.  But using that one extra brownie to eat three more is, as I wrote on Facebook recently, really really silly!

Stay in the moment.  Stay in the moment.  Stay in the moment…

There is no tomorrow where you can make up for today’s excess.  Today is all you have, right?

Don’t expect perfection from yourself.  That is a diet mentality, right?  Just move forward, and that slight side to side “wiggle” will get less and less over time.

For your child:

The best thing you can do for her is to model good behavior.  Don’t TALK about it.  DO it.  Talk is cheap.  The actions you take will impress her beyond all of the words you can say.

Yes, children need to be guided.  Guide her with questions like this, “Are you hungry for something warm and delicious like soup or something cold and crunchy like grapes, etc.”  She will get in touch with her own signals this way.

And, if she is hungry for a cookie, that is ok, as long as she is hungry for it and stops when she is not hungry anymore.  Kids need guidance on what kind of portions would probably suffice.  Don’t overload her plate with any kind of food-  “good” or “bad.”

And teach her to check in with her hunger, “Have you had enough?”     Give her a chance to hunger and express her hunger for a whole variety of foods.  Make finding new foods fun.

Most of all, though, model thin behavior for her.

Your questions were so good, that I think I am going to put this answer in the blog on my website, because I am sure you speak for many with the struggle to handle a “slip up!”

Take care and thanks for the email!

Have a great week and stay committed to this!


Practice Your Thin Mentality


Learning  how and when to stop eating is part of building your thin mentality.

The path to knowing this lies in… practice!  Ha!  Just like a lot of things, it requires some practice.  Fortunately, we need to eat everyday, so there are plenty of opportunities.

So, when you are eating, think about “practicing” your thin mentality.  You WILL make mistakes.  You will stop eating when still hungry.   But that is ok-  you will know you stopped too early because you will not be able to get passed your hunger.  You will put food away and move onto something else, only to feel yourself asking for food again right away.

That is OK.  Obviously, it is more “correctable” to eat too little than too much.  So, when I was starting this, I said to myself,  “if I am still hungry, I can always have more.”  I gave myself a chance to feel okay with leaving food behind.

Now, I know there are some of you out there saying, “Ah! see, I can’t eat with a thin mentality, I have to leave food behind!”

Now just hold on.  You are used to leaving food behind as a dieter.  And cutting up your 4 ounces of dry chicken and 5 carrots and lettuce with lemon juice and a grapefruit for dessert and having that as a meal and trying to leave some of that behind is awful.

I am asking you to eat what you are craving.  Perhaps a steak, creamy potatoes and some corn?  Then as you are eating, just notice how “quickly” you feel completely happy and satisfied.

We are NOT used to paying attention to that.  “I can have a steak tonight! I am going to eat the whole thing because who knows when I will allow myself a steak again!!”  NO!  that is a diet mentality.  You will “allow” yourself whatever you crave from now on.  It isn’t a big treat anymore to eat what your body is asking you to provide.  It is normal.

(You WILL crave all kinds of food)

But as you are eating this meal that you chose, that you like, that your body was craving, just give your body a chance to say to you, “Wow, that was good, and I have had enough.”

Just try it.  You will be surprised that when you give yourself freedom, there is nothing to “rebel” against anymore.  You will learn to really, really dislike that overfull feeling.

You won’t want to do that to yourself.  Why would you?  You know that in just a few hours you will be hungry again and eating and enjoying something you really like.

Just try this.  You are NOT punishing yourself to leave food behind.  You are learning, you are practicing your thin mentality.

When I used to eat a bagel, I always toasted up the whole thing.  Then, I realized that I never needed the whole thing.  I was always happy and satisfied after one half-  that I cover with cream cheese and jelly, by the way, cause I like that!!

But since I know myself now, I never toast a whole one anymore.  I have learned what satisfies me.  You will too!  Practice makes perfect  :).


Now the AMA says Obesity is a Disease

Who benefits if we consider obesity a disease?

Who benefits if we consider obesity a disease?


Whether you are slightly overweight and tired of dieting, or much heavier, don’t let the new AMA decision to classify obesity as a disease make you disrespect your body.

Your body was born with a beautiful system intact to keep you at a healthy weight: hunger and satiety.

But we have “polluted” our bodies with diet messages that end up corrupting our relationship with hunger and satiety and set you up for binge eating.

That is where rapid weight gain comes.

Ask yourself this.  Why are we so impressed by nature’s balance only when it is outside of our own bodies?

We admire and protect the impressive equilibrium of eco systems including mountains, polar bears, turtles, rivers, yet we don’t respect the beautiful balance of our own bodies.

Obesity causes disease.

But obesity is a disease?

I guess the scientists can argue about this.

I live in the real world with real people struggling with real weight problems, whether it is 5 pounds or 100 pounds.

Whether you want to say obesity is a disease or not, the solution is not to diet.  The solution is to reconnect with the natural regulation of your body’s weight by respecting both hunger and satiety.