Archive for: June, 2013

Bethenny Frankl – too many food rules

bethenny frankel book 020512

I just read Bethenny’s book.

As most people who have written about how to eat, she has too many food rules, and too much judgment in her food choices.

This is important:  I am not saying to ignore nutrition completely.

I am saying that if you want white bread with butter, not olive oil on whole grain, then eat it.  It isn’t going to ruin your day or make you fat.   Stop obsessing about the “perfect” food choice.  Just eat it  (when you are truly hungry for it) and move on!

Why would you crave butter on white bread instead of olive oil on whole grain?  I don’t know.  I don’t care, either. I just know that sometimes I crave it and even though I also love olive oil on whole  grain baguette, sometimes I want bread and butter.

My body is complicated and is responding to a whole bunch of variables:  how much I did that day, if I am dehydrated, if I was out late, if I slept a lot and am rested, etc., etc.  It is much better for me to let my body guide me than to try to use my brain to guess what I may need.

For instance, sometimes I eat cilantro and I can just taste that my whole body is celebrating.  I just think there is something in that that I really need.  I am not going to waste a bunch of time or energy figuring that out.  I trust myself.  And when I crave it, I eat it and it is great.

You may hate cilantro-  I know a lot of people do.  You are different than me.  That is really a wonderful thing.  Listen to what your own body is telling you.

Food rules like the ones that Bethenny uses keep you obsessed and disconnected from the greatest wisdom you hold- your instinct of what to eat and when.  I saw her photo recently and she is “un-naturally thin.”  I hold that as evidence that she is obsessed.

I don’t mean to be critical, but I am just calling it like I see it.  And, in case you are saying, well I want to be that thin, here is my answer.   Eating with a thin mentality will get you thin.  It will not get you weirdly thin.  It will not get you super model stick leg thin.  It will get you beautifully thin.

If you want to be that thin, you are going to have to fight your body all the way.  And if you make a million dollars a year on being a weirdly thin model, it may be worth it to you.?

But to be nicely thin, and healthy, a thin mentality works just fine.  And you will be happy and enjoy food-  a fabulous pleasure.

I just felt my first hunger pang of the day.  And my only thought is, “Well sometime soon I will eat something wonderful.”  And then I have some fun thinking of what that might be,  And when I get to stage two hunger-  probably in about an hour, or hour and a half,  I will eat.  And I will stop when it isn’t wonderful anymore.


Saving Calories Doesn’t Fool Your Body

LeanCuisine-007So eat a Lean Cuisine and you will save 200 calories?

True, if you eat a low calorie meal, you will have consumed less calories.  But what does that really mean?

If you eat 300 calories for dinner your body will process that, and your body will react to that amount of calories.  It will get hungry sooner.

(Unless you are on a really low calorie diet where you lose hunger because you are eating so little.  Of course the minute you eat normally, your hunger will come ROARING back.  That coupled with your lowered metabolism will cause rapid weight gain)

But back to “saving calories.”

As soon as you start counting calories or “points,” your brain is telling your body what to eat.  But, you are way better off having your body tell your brain what you should eat.

When you are hungry, listen to what your body is asking for.  Then provide it.

Do this at stage 2 hunger- when you are hungry but still feel good.  Stage 3, in case you haven’t read earlier blogs, is when you are desperately hungry.   You will make desperate decisions there.  Eat before you get this hungry.  Stage one is when your body sends the first hunger signals- just a “warning light.”  (more on all of this in my book)

So, stay in the present when you eat.  Don’t “save” calories for later if your body is hungry for them now.

I know I used to think, wow, if I eat this now, I will only have 500 calories left for the rest of the day.  But you know what? If you eat according to hunger, you never have to worry about that.  And I can tell you, that if I eat more in the day because of hunger, I am surprised by how little I need later.  I am not being “good.”  It is just that since I took care of my hunger during the day, my body is not driving me to eat a lot at night.  No more roaming the kitchen looking for a little something!!


How To Measure Your Progress

weigh-loss-lose-pantsWeighing yourself to measure progress can be tricky.  It can act as a motive to eat whether you lose or gain.  If you lose, then you may be tempted to “reward” yourself.  If you gain, you will lose faith and think about giving up.

And remember that your body weight can fluctuate quite substantially – 3 pounds or more, depending on your hydration, hormones etc.  So you may be down a couple of pounds and your timing on weighing yourself was bad!

So although I understand that you want to weigh yourself, I recommend using something besides the scale to measure your size-  how your pants fit?  Tape measure?

But as you are developing your thin mentality, remember that the first thing that happens is that your brain gets thin.  This may take a while.  Once your brain regains its connection to your body- and you start hearing your hunger and satiety cues really loudly, you can then use your thin mentality to lose weight.

And during this the only thing you need to focus on is hearing your hunger and “Enough” signals.  You will make mistakes!  Of course.  But that is part of the process:  to learn to listen, learn what you truly love to eat,  and ignore everyone else’s advice and trust your body.  (If you don’t, who will?)

You will start to understand your hunger and not fear it.  You will look forward to being hungry.  You will relax and know that you will not eat an entire box of cookies.  You will begin to trust yourself.

And then, you can say to yourself, “I know my hunger, I know what foods I like.  I am going to eat until I am not hungry anymore, and then I am going to stop, knowing that my body isn’t asking for more.  By just satisfying my hunger, I will not overload myself ever, and slowly, my body will shed weight.  It will be permanent, non-traumatic to my body, and as I do so, I will enjoy eating more than I ever have because it will be in harmony with what I crave and hunger for.”

This is slow, folks.  But as I said in my Facebook post today-  what other choice do you have?  If you are looking for a quick fix, please let me remind you:  you will lose weight and gain it back and have to start all over.

It may help you to keep some notes on your hunger cycles.  Writing may help you learn about yourself faster and notice what kinds of foods satisfy you and how much food it takes to quiet your hunger.  NOthing fancy here, just maybe scribble a few thoughts and read then on another day when you need a little push.

My best advice is to stay connected with your thin mentality by:

  • visiting this site or other sites like this
  • read a couple of pages of the blog or my book or other similar messaged books
  • go on Facebook and read comments (and post them!! thanks!)
  • go on Youtube and watch videos that I have put up
  • in short- stay connected with your long term goal of being happy and thin, not obsessed, unhappy and overweight.

In case you are wondering why I am motivated to help you, here it is:  I worked for Nutrisystem and sold a lot of programs.  I saw smart, fabulous people work really hard to lose weight and then gain it back and be so depressed.  I too lost and gained and lost and gained and lost and gained and lost and gained etc., etc., etc.  I wasted a lot of my life on the absolutely flawed paradigm of dieting.  I honestly want to help you see the light.  My life is so so so much better without dieting.  I wish that I had someone help me discover this.  I am here to help you.

Liz, from Facebook posted this article-  it is great and may help motivate you.  It is long, just read a little and save it and read more later. !!  (and thanks again Liz)–_and_what_to_do_about_it

Let me know how you are doing!!
email me, post comments on this blog (you can use a fake name!) or visit Facebook

Take care and “see the light!!”  🙂


Learning How To Recognize True Hunger- Answer to an email


Dear Diet Weary Friend,

Your reaction is completely normal.  Of course you are struggling with recognizing true hunger!

For years you have been taught to ignore your body and eat according to some magic food rules.  It is so interesting how ingrained this is in our society.   And we listen because people value thinness so much that they throw common sense out the window in an effort to get thin.

But diets don’t get you thin-  and I am glad you realize that.  That is the first necessary step.

So now you are onto the second step: learning to eat in response to hunger.

If you have been a dieter, you are well aware of calorie counts.  It is hard to “turn off” you internal calorie counter.  And it is hard to view food in a neutral light- not bad, not good.

What you must remember is this:  you will get better at this as time goes on.  Don’t be too hard on yourself.  Every time you have a small victory (you eat when you are hungry and you stop when you have had enough) you will get stronger and stronger.

You will get better and better at knowing if you stopped eating at the appropriate time for you.

It is actually a really interesting journey.  It is enjoyable to learn about yourself in this way.  Your food preferences and cravings and hunger are unique to you.  They are part of you.   And getting to know how your body expresses hunger, what kinds of food answer it best, etc., is honestly (I know this sounds weird) kind of fun.

I also understand that it is scary.  Why?  Because we want to be thin and we are “afraid” of our own inner voice-  we think it will make us eat tons of food.  But you have binged in the past, not in spite of dieting, but BECAUSE of dieting.

Dieting sets you up to have a backlash.  I know you know the feeling- your email states it-  you are “good” for weeks but then have an overwhelming urge to eat a bunch of candy or whatever.

Your body will never do that to you (crave a bunch of junk)  if you don’t put it on a diet.

Your only job is to quiet your brain and listen to your body.  You will not gain weight by eating when you are hungry.

As you learn to trust that you can take care of your hunger without a bunch of food rules, you will feel in control and capable of leaving food on your plate, getting picky about what you consume (“thin” people never eat something that they don’t like-  for example, a stale old cookie from the pantry…) and being respectful of what your body is telling you.

You will learn that there is NO JOY in over eating, I promise.

Remember that this is a day by day kind of progress.  But, unlike dieting, the progress is forward, not backward!

Be too smart to allow that diet mentality to trap you.  It is a trap, funded with billions and billions of dollars from the diet industry.

I am so glad your friend shared my message with you.  I am hoping to reach as many people as possible.

I know there is a lot of suffering in the world, and that worrying about food and weight loss may seem trivial to some.

But suffering from a diet mentality is a miserable condition!  I know, I had one for decades.  I am dedicated to help others free themselves too.

You must reinforce your new perspective everyday.  I tweet at least once a day-  if you find that a convenient way to get a little reinforcement, follow me!  @megmeranus.

Also, I don’t want to pull a sales routine on you- but I do have a book available on my site and also a Kindle version.  I simply try to cover my costs with it-  and give people a place to get a whole lot of info at once.

It was great to hear from you.  Take Care

(my response got so long, I think I will put it – just my response- on my blog.