Archive for: February, 2012

Mika Brzezinski Doesn’t Get It

mika_brzezinski-01Mika Brzezinski is a host on MSNBC’s Morning Joe.

She is lean, a runner and has a huge diet mentality.

And, ironically, she wrote a book called “Obsessed” about her battle with her weight.

She is a smart, funny woman who has spent time examining this issue, yet she is completely blind to the real problem.

She doesn’t trust herself.

If there is a donut on the set, she freaks out.  She exclaims, “Get those donuts out of here- I can’t eat them I moderation!!”   And, she scolds others who eat what she fears.

Her “good” food/“bad” food perspective runs deep.  She is all for the ban on large servings of soft drinks that Mayor Bloomburg in NYC sponsored.   She mocks fast food and quivers at the mention of a French fry.

Why doesn’t she trust herself?  Where does her severe attitude come from?

She believes that the way she behaves around food when she is off her diet is the way she would behave around food all the time.

But what she needs to understand is that the very diet she thinks is her savior is the practice that is hurting her the most.  Rigid dieting leads to binge eating.  If she would stop dieting, and make a 100% commitment to never dieting again, her true food behavior would emerge.   She would stop fearing food.  She would trust that if she hungered for a donut she could have one and move on with her day.

People!   That diet you went on does a lot more to you than you think.  It completely perverts your relationship with food.  Hunger and the denial of food destroy your healthy, normal relationship with food.  And the more diets you go on, the worse it gets.

You end up with:

An obsession with eating and not eating

A lowered metabolism

Mood swings

A flabbier body because of the yo yo weight loss/gain

And there is a lot of evidence that chronic dieters are anxious and depressed.  Of course they are!  Their poor bodies have been alternately starved or stuffed for years!  (Decades??)

Do not underestimate the impact that dieting has on you, your body, and your life.  Mika is happy to be thin, but she is paying a huge price.

It doesn’t have to be that way.  You can be thin, and have a great relationship with food and your body.  You can eat what you love and celebrate food instead of fearing it!

Remember, all those diet ads you see, all those “doctors” who promote products and their TV shows are doing so to keep you dieting and believing you need a bunch of “products” to avoid fatness.

Follow the money!!

The most powerful documentary I have seen on this subject can be found on YouTube- It is a BBC piece- four one hour parts.-  “The Men Who Made us Thin.”

Here is a link to the first one-

Build your thin mentality and leave your obsessive, damaging diet mentality behind…


The Big Bad Oreo



Did you hear the news about Oreos being as addictive as cocaine.

This is just another in a long line of inflammatory “news flashes” that make us fear food instead of appreciating it.

Turn the message around.  Think how fantastic it is that something as readily available as an Oreo cookie can provide you with that much pleasure.  It is a wonderful part of our human experience, eating an Oreo.

And when you have rejected that debilitating diet mentality for a healthy thin mentality, you will never fear cookies again.  You won’t dream of equating a delicious cookie to a” brain-fryer” like cocaine.

It is a silly comparison.

I don’t care what the scientists say- I am using common sense.  An Oreo and cocaine are not equivalent.  Oreos can be enjoyed in appropriate amounts with no downside.

But the headline for this story garnered lots of press and made people feel like they have no power over the big bad Oreo.

Yes you do!  Ditch that diet mentality that makes you feel like a victim to circumstance and build your healthy thin mentality.  You will rejoin the world of guilt free eating and appreciation of the incredible bounty we have.

And you will calmly, without payback, eat less and get back to your ideal weight range.  And, by the way, you will eat less when you tap into your hunger, but you will enjoy it way more, and feel powerful instead of weak.


Not Losing Fast Enough?


What happens when you understand the wisdom of a thin mentality, but you aren’t losing weight fast enough?

I understand your frustration.

But you didn’t gain the weight overnight, and you will not lose it overnight.  If you do lose weight fast, you will gain it back-fast too.-  Your powerful body is programmed to survive and if you starve it, it will send you massive eating signals that will cause you to regain all of your weight and then some.

I always remind you to look at your own personal history, or people you know, to see how true this is.

So as you build your thin mentality, you will have to make peace with slow weight loss.

But think about it.  If you lose a pound a week, (if you are very heavy, it could be more) and it is permanent and doesn’t require skipping parties, or buying special foods, or abstaining from the meals you love, the time goes quickly.  You aren’t suffering on a diet.  You are making a permanent change that will last for the rest of your life.

And that is way better than losing thirty pounds in two months and gaining it back in one-  Yea it was quick, but gaining weight back is the WORST!

Having said all of this, here are a few things to think about to make sure you are using your thin mentality:

-As you eat, check in with your hunger level often, “How am I feeling, Could I be done? Do I need more?  Does the food still taste amazing?  Are my taste buds still singing?

– Remind yourself, “I can stop eating, and if I find distracted by food and the thought of eating more, I can always eat again.”   Or, “ Yes I love this food so much and I want to have it all, and I can, just not all at once-  I will save it for later!”

-Prepare for those times when you need a little something to eat, but don’t have time for a big meal, or for those times when you stopped eating too soon.  Having a little snack, something you usually like (for me it is peanuts) in your pocket or purse gives you the confidence to stop eating at a meal because you know if you get hungry, you have a little something with you.

-Take notice of your hunger rhythms and learn from it!  Learn about yourself so that you can take care of yourself appropriately.  For example:  If you notice it takes your stomach a few minutes “tell” you that you have had enough, remember that!  Perhaps take a little break and give your body a chance to tell you that you are satisfied.

Living your life with a healthy thin mentality will bring you weight loss, peace, improved self-esteem and respect for your body.  It will free you from obsessive thoughts about what to eat, who much you weigh, how much weight you can lose by this party, this summer this whatever!  The war is over.


Doctor Advocates Trusting Your Body

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I watched a YouTube video from Bert Herring, M.D. who worked at the prestigious National Institute of Health. He developed the Fast Five diet and I wanted to learn more about it.  I am always on the prowl for new diets because I want to see how they are packaging their messaging so I can warn you!

If you watch this video, please let me emphasize that I am not endorsing this diet.

But there are parts of his message that strike a chord with me.  Especially this:
He advocates trusting your body to guide you in food choices.  I LOVE this.  But I am a “lay person” telling you to trust your body because your body knows what it needs.  And he is a doctor saying that to you.
So although I disagree with the rules he sets forth about eating,   I just wanted you to hear this from a medical person so that maybe it will help you trust yourself more.He also says that “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day” is an advertisement for breakfast, not sound medical advice.Wow-  I love that and agree whole heartedly.  What matters?  Hunger matters.  Not hungry for breakfast- don’t eat!He also makes a good point about how your health is so much more than what you put into your mouth.  It is about your life, and if your life is enriching, and if you enrich others.I think that part of his talk is powerful stuff.

Bottom line:  We focus too much on food and eating perfectly.  We fear hunger, instead of embracing it as a great communication tool from our body.  We try to squish or cravings instead of trying to listen to them to understand what we need.

Your body wants to be in its ideal weight range.  Let it take you there.


How Do You Know When You Aren’t Hungry Anymore

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If you have dieted for years and years, of course you have completely lost touch with your hunger signals.

Not only that, once you start eating, you probably don’t know when you have had enough.

The first stage of building your healthy thin mentality is to do a little research on yourself.

Take notice of how much food you eat, and how it makes you feel not only right away, but 20 minutes later.  If you eat fast (as I do)  you may need to learn stop eating when you still think you could eat more because you know, from experience, that if you give your body and brain a chance to connect, your brain will get the signal that you have had enough.

For example, when I first started eating with a healthy thin mentality, I purposefully ate a bit slower until I learned approximately how much food I usually needed to satisfy hunger.  This does NOT mean that I ate out of routine or in an amount that was just a habit.

It means that as I ditched my diet mentality, I paid very close attention to my eating and my hunger and satiety.  This is normal, healthy “getting to know yourself” kind of learning.  We should have all done this when we were younger, but, especially as teenage girls, many of us (most??) were taught to eat according to some plan or prescribed amount of food instead of learning about our own specific unique hunger patterns and taking care of them.

But it isn’t too late!!

Learn from your eating experiences.  For example, I know that I rarely finish an entire restaurant size hamburger.  So, I usually cut it in half right from the start so it is nicer to take home.  But, if I am particularly hungry that day, no problem, no guilt, I would definitely eat it.  It is just, 13 years into my healthy thin mentality, I know myself.  So I can plan ahead a bit, without being caught eating out of routine.

You can get here too.  Again, your first “job” with your thin mentality is to re-acquaint yourself with your unique hunger patterns.  We are all different so our hunger will be different too.  Our food requirements will differ too.  Don’t let others’ choices determine yours.

Stay in touch with YOU.  You are the only one who can do this, right?  So if you don’t, then your unappreciated body will go to waste…


Dieting Changes How You See Yourself



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You have a lot of beliefs about yourself and eating.

Some of them may be true.  Some of them may not be.


“I have a huge appetite.”

“I don’t like vegetables.”

“I am a junk food junkie.”

But please consider this:  constant dieting perverts your view of YOURSELF.

Dieting has made you think things like: ·

” I am always hungry.”

“I would eat sweets all day long if I could.”

“I am doomed to be fat if I don’t constantly diet.”

But dieting isn’t a normal state.  Your behavior on a diet doesn’t reflect the “normal you.”   Dieting makes us to lose touch with how we really are, as eaters! And even if you aren’t currently on a diet, if you THINK that there may be a diet in your future you don’t behave normally. Do you see this?

A future diet changes your present behavior. Bottom line:

1.     Dieting perverts your relationship with normal eating.

2.     Dieting perverts your view of yourself.

3.     Dieting perverts your body by causing you to over eat both before and after a diet.

When I stopped dieting, my entire view of myself as an eater changed.  Long held beliefs I had regarding what I liked, how much I wanted to eat, etc., faded away and were replaced with my true preferences, eating patterns and hunger and satiety signals. I want this for every person who reads this blog.

What you discover about yourself will be different than what I discovered about me.  And learning about how you are as an eater is really important to your physical and mental health.

Listen -!

Food and your relationship with food is a really important part of your life.  Food gives you life.  Right? And many of us have played roulette with food for a large part of our lives.  Casually betting on this or that diet. We have not recognized the disastrous impact that dieting has on the essential act of eating.

We have played with a beautifully balanced system without respect.

Get your normal relationship with food and eating back.  No weird diet rules.  No food demonization.  No desperate attempts to lose 5 pounds in three days. Banish your diet mentality from your brain, heart and soul.   Listen to the beauty of your body’s voice and get reacquainted with the real you.


Dear Rigid Dieter and Exerciser

Unhappy Depressed Woman

Today’s blog isn’t for everyone:

I am not directing this to someone who is looking for an excuse to avoid workouts and overeat.   I am talking to the rigid dieter and exerciser who is afraid to trust herself.

It is for people like “Kelly” who posted on Facebook yesterday.  (Aug 4 2013)

They are fit, have their weight “under control,” and feel like they are doing the right thing.

Here is the truth:  They do not have their weight under control.  Their weight is controlling them.

It does take strength to follow a rigid workout and eating schedule.  Yes it does.  I have done that myself and I understand this mentality.

But there is no joy, wisdom or freedom in this.

Here is why:

When you fight your body, you lose.  When you work with your body, you win.

  • Fighting your body is ignoring hunger.
  • Fighting your body is eating at pre-scheduled times whether or not you are hungry
  • Fighting your body is working out even if your knee is sore.
  • Fighting your body is eating vegetables when your body is craving protein.
  • Fighting your body is skipping sleep when you are tired.
  • Cravings, hunger, fatigue and soreness are your body’s voice.

Work WITH your body by respecting these and you WIN.

Lose the rules, the rigidity and the “perfection” mentality.

Replace it with responsiveness, respect for the wisdom of your body’s voice, and a long-term vision of your body and your health.

As with many things, calm, gentle progress lasts.  For example, an exercise plan you can actually follow for the rest of your life beats the “insanity” stop and start programs that result in burn out.

And learning to eat the way Mother Nature intended will get you off the diet treadmill, and yo-yo weight gain/loss/gain.

And for those of you saying that our current food supply is so “fake” that it has disrupted our ability to eat like this, I respectfully disagree.

First, because I live it, and I know that my body is perfectly capable of taking in calories from all kinds of sources and responding appropriately.  If I eat some “low nutrient” food one day, guess what, I crave “better” food the next.

And, it is wiser and long-term more important to avoid demonizing any food.  Your body will take care of that for you.  You WILL crave healthful, wonderful food.

First step:  Promise your body that you will not diet anymore and begin to trust yourself and your own wisdom.  It is in there, currently being wasted by many of us…

I am launching a new website very soon to help you make this transition.  It includes a work book that goes with my book Diets Are Fattening  (available on the book tab)

Be optimistic about this.  You can do it, and you will enjoy a normalized relationship with food, eating and your body.  And you will calmly get (or stay) in your ideal weight range.